How do you measure success? Do you measure it in monetary terms, how big your business has grown, how many houses you own or where you can afford to go on holiday? Or is it something else completely?
I was brought up to believe that the measure of success was making it to the top in your career, having a perfect house, perfect husband, 2.2 kids and lots of cash in the bank. However, life had other ideas.
In my late twenties I experienced a paradigm-shattering experience where I began to question what it was that I was really looking for in life. I realized that what I thought I wanted were actually somebody-else’s ideas of what I should have (ie, the unconscious conditioning from my family and culture). This led me on a 20 year journey of self-discovery to find the answer. And I’m happy to say I’ve made good progress.
If you stop and ask yourself the question ‘WHY’ is it that I want that promotion, that BMW, that house on the beach, the perfect partner and friends etc (and the list is endless), you may find that what you are really after is a FEELING. The feeling of how you think you will feel when you get that thing.
The interesting thing is, we will get that feeling when we get that thing, but then we find it’s only temporary, and we’re onto wanting the next thing (or feeling) etc. And this goes on ad infinitum.
When you take the time to drill down underneath these feelings, you may start to find that what you’re really after is a sense of freedom and peace. So what if this is what you are REALLY after, rather than the car, the house, the job, the partner…What if what you really desire is true, lasting peace? What if finding that was real success?
So, if I ask myself how I am doing in terms of finding true inner peace, I have to happily report that I’m definitely on my way. I now know that it’s possible to have a sense of inner calm and tranquillity no matter what is going on in my life. I know how to look after my own health without relying on outside sources. So whether my bank balance is high or low, whether I am busy with clients or not, real success for me is knowing how to maintain an inner state of good health, equilibrium and joy – no matter what. Now, how would that feel?