On how unmet emotional needs drive physical pain

UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF FEAR IN THE PHYSICAL BODY

by Kim Knight, The Art of Health

For years I have been trying to understand why it is that certain Qi Gong exercises (specifically ones that require the pelvis to be tilted forward) have been so difficult to do and why I have had so much resistance to doing them. Whilst I was aware that my habit of ‘doing’ a sway back (ie, butt tucked out like a duck) was connected to disconnecting from feelings, I had (have) been finding it difficult to make progress on changing this postural pattern.

In Moativational Medicine™, cutting-edge health techniques I am currently studying and using, we talk about the core fears that lie deep within us, which exist as a result of unmet childhood emotional and developmental needs. These fears are centred around fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of vulnerability and fear of feeling our feelings fully. Lying beneath those fears are actually the core fear of not feeling loved. At the end of the day, we survive on love, love is what nourishes us, and when our supply of love is threatened as a child, we literally equate that with dying. Therefore it is critical that our developmental needs of feeling loved, nurtured, accepted, important, connected with etc are met during the first 18 months of our life. Of course, for many of us, often through no fault of our caregivers who were doing their best with what they knew, these needs are not met. And so we start to build up a backlog of unmet emotional needs, which later translate into certain beliefs, behaviours and corresponding results in our life – including symptoms of pain and chronic illness.

Recently, during a Chi Nei Tsang (abdominal Qi Gong) massage – (CNT by the way being the best bodywork therapy I have ever experienced, cannot recommend it enough for clearing emotional and physical pain without having to go via the head), I realized that my psoas muscles were completely contracted, resulting in my pelvis being pulled backwards. The interesting thing about the Psoas group is that the core emotion it holds is FEAR (see Liz Koch’s work for more details on this).

And suddenly I put two and two together. These core fears have been locked into my psoas for years, causing the pelvic tilt and therefore difficulty in doing these Qi Gong exercises. I had been trying to work out why I have so much resistance to doing these exercises when I know they are so good for me, and yet I don’t seem to be able to ‘force’ myself using will-power to do them. So actually, the resistance is not really about resistance to doing the exercises per se – it is actually the resistance to getting in touch with the EMOTIONS or FEAR held in that area of the body.

I now see how essential it is that we (including myself) address and resolve these unmet developmental and emotional needs, with their knock-on effect of building up so much fear in the mind-body. For me personally, as I do this, it will help improve my posture and ability to do certain Qi Gong exercises.  Already I feel a greater ease and less resistance to tilting my pelvis forward, which is a good start.

There is no doubt that the body truly does speak the mind, they are one unit, and in order to make true lasting change we MUST address our unmet emotional (and developmental) needs. And of the course the great thing about Moativational Medicine™ or Chi Nei Tsang is that we can do that without having to get emotional or even know what the issue was in the first place! And as any unresolved emotions are dissolved, our beliefs about ourselves and life magically change, which then results in us being more of our authentic self, which can only mean we experience greater joy, happiness and health in our lives.

So, my advice to you? If you truly want to get to the core of your health issues, or understand the role emotions play in disease (dis-ease), try some of these techniques for yourself.  You can either start using the Health Detective kit for yourself, or contact me if you would like some support in taking yourself through the exercises.

Kim Knight

Health Coach and Healing Facilitator

www.artofhealth.co.nz

Ph + 64 9 833 6553

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