Yesterday I was reminded, again, of how depression really is a de-pressing of emotions.
A couple of days ago I experienced an energetic healing session, and often what can follow is a clearing of energy, often called a ‘healing response’. When this healing response kicks in, it usually manifests as symptoms or emotions of the original trauma or situation which is being addressed. This is because the energetic imprint of that situation is literally being cleared out of the cells at a quantum level. So whilst it can feel unpleasant, and often we can think “Oh God, I thought I had dealt with that, and here it is again”, it’s actually a good sign that energy is on the move.
On this particular occasion, I was experiencing and ‘doing’ depression. And whilst I know from experience that depression is a de-pressing of emotions, when we are actually full-on in that experience, it can be very hard to identify exactly what those emotions are. Emotions can be very sneaky, especially when we are dealing with very old emotions which were stored in the body before the age of 7, at which time we were purely emotional beings with no rational understanding of circumstances and events.
So, on the first day of ‘doing’ my depression, I found myself in a very deep, black hole. (And by the way, here’s a newsflash for anyone who thinks therapists don’t experience symptoms anymore just because they are a therapist: we do – the difference is we probably know how to deal with our ‘stuff’ a little easier and quicker than perhaps others who have not had the benefit of personal experience and professional training in this arena). So, on the first day I started off my usual acknowledging and validation of the depression, doing the ‘this feeling is welcome exercise (to try this out yourself go to the free exercises page here), and whilst that was good, nothing was shifting. I identified I was feeling sad and frustrated, but about what I couldn’t tell. So I allowed myself to acknowledge and feel the feelings, but nothing really shifted.
Then, the next day, I did a positive transformation session with a friend, and had a breakthrough. During the session it became clear that what was emerging to be cleared were the emotions which I had felt and also taken on board from my mother with her frustration over my brother’s mental illness when we were young. She had had virtually no support in bringing up a mentally handicapped son, and I had soaked up her unresolved pain like a sponge (as children unconsciously do). And for the first time I connected with the sadness, pain and frustration of how I had felt, even though there was no intellectual memory of it at the time. As the old adage goes, ‘emotions buried alive never die’ and they will lie dormant at a cellular level until the infinite wisdom of the body intelligence decides it’s time to release them. Obviously my time had come for this particular block of energy to be released.
By the end of the session the depression had completely lifted and I felt light and free. What a load off, literally. And again, I had proven to myself, that despite the fact that often it can be very hard to track what is going on at an emotional level beneath depression, there always seems to be something if we are willing to keep going until we find it.
So, if you are feeling depressed, don’t give up. And here is how you can start to deal with it:
When you find yourself ‘doing’ de-pression:
- Remind yourself that depression is most often a de-pressing of emotions
- Say to yourself ‘this depression is welcome’ and invite it in for a cup of tea.
- Ask yourself ‘what feeling(s) am I feeling and de-pressing?’
- Once identified, say to yourself ‘this feeling (eg, sadness, anger) is welcome’ and invite it in for a cup of tea.
- Use any other tools you may have at your disposal to identify and clear the emotions
- Most importantly, be kind, patient and loving with yourself
And never give up hope! We can move beyond depression.