by Kim Knight, Director, Art of Health and Science of Wellbeing www.artofhealth.co.nz
This blog is for those people using the Mickel Therapy Keys technique, to help make the most of the method and clarify which keys to use and when…
The Golden Rules for using the Mickel Therapy Keys
- Key 2 (communicating your feelings honestly) cannot be chosen by itself – you will always need to choose Key 1 or Key 3 (or both) to go with it.
- Key 2 will always be required when the situation involves someone else because ‘communicating our feelings honestly’ allows that e-motional energy to dissipate from the body in a healthy way (without blame or judgement). This prevents the emotional energy which we previously kept inside from building up to become symptoms. Once you practice saying how you feel, you will be amazed at how easy and not-so-scary it is. As Dr Mickel says “you have to prove it to yourself that it works” so try speaking your feelings honestly and you may be amazed by the results.
- It’s usually beneficial to put Key 2 into place before key 3 when taking ‘action’: eg, “I feel (name a feeling) and I need or want (state your need or desire).
- Remember that it is the TAKING OF THE ACTION which brings relief of emotions, and therefore symptoms, not necessarily the response from the other person or whether we get the desired outcome or not. This is because what makes US feel better (and reduces symptoms) is acting our truth and acting in integrity with ourselves. THIS is what is required for healing: to act in integrity with ourselves. So do not be attached to the outcome of the action, just notice how you feel by taking honest action and speaking YOUR truth. You may or may not get what you want or are asking for, but either way, YOU will feel better, your emotions will dissipate and your symptoms will reduce.
- Sometimes when we take action (speak and act our truth) we may get a response from the other person which doesn’t feel good, in which case use the keys again, this time referring to whatever the person has just said. Eg. “I feel frustrated that you are not listening to me (Key 2) and I’d appreciate it if you would hear my point of view (Key 3). Sometimes we have to use the keys a bit like a ‘broken record’ technique in order for the other person to really hear us.
- Key 1 is only required when someone is overstepping our boundaries and treating us unfairly either physically, emotionally or mentally. This is often played out as physical, mental or emotional abuse. Emotional / mental / verbal abuse is often a lot harder to spot that physical abuse, but just as damaging.
- In general we can say that Key 3 is always going to be needed.
- One of my favourite truisms (courtesy of Dr Phil) is ‘we teach people how to treat us’. This is oh so true. When you start acting differently, others will treat you differently. So for example, I had a client who started using the keys with her husband, who was not treating her well at all emotionally or mentally, and within one week he was treating her like a princess. She had not told him what she was doing, she did not ask him to behave differently, but just by implementing the keys he unconsciously knew he could no longer overstep her boundaries, he heard her speak from her heart and he started respecting her needs. This stuff works!
(If you are reading this blog and want to know more about the ‘Keys to Health’, these are normally fully explained during your first session in Mickel Therapy. Mickel Therapy is designed to teach people healthy behaviours so that they coach themselves back to a healthy experience of life where one understands that putting oneself first and communicating feelings is a necessary requirement for good health).