25 years ago when I was diagnosed with clinical depression, a few months later I found myself lying in a dark pit of despair in a hospital bed. I felt there was no hope and had no idea how to turn things around.
I didn’t know who to tell or who to turn to. I felt so ashamed. And so alone.
Back then being depressed was not spoken about and people thought you were a bit ‘weird’ if you were depressed. And as far as having a mental breakdown, well that was absolutely off the table as far as topic to talk about – you were just ‘crazy’. So there I was, both weird and crazy!
I remember lying there in bed thinking ‘who shall I tell? Which friends shall I call?’
In the end I decided to call them all, and a funny thing happened: the ones I thought would handle it and would ‘be there for me’ couldn’t and weren’t, and the ones I thought wouldn’t be there for me were!
This showed me two things:
- Who my friends are in difficult times.
- When people don’t know how to deal with their own emotions, they have difficulty dealing with other people’s feelings, because seeing someone else in a mess stirs up their own unconscious feelings which they’d rather not deal with.
Fortunately things have changed and being depressed or having a nervous breakdown is much more accepted and understood.
Fortunately things have changed and being depressed or having a nervous breakdown is much more accepted and understood, but even so, people who have not experienced the depths of depression or mental breakdown really have no idea what it really feels like on the inside. And still even today people tend not to speak about it unless they have very close friends they feel they can trust implicitly with their deepest secrets.
This is why I am so passionate about helping people (a) understand that it’s not a defect to experience depression or breakdown and (b) there are simple ways out of it, often without the need for medication or supplements.
Personally I tried taking medication, but it just made me feel worse, even groggier, more brain fogged and mentally confused. A voice inside of me told me there was another way and I could find it. I obstinately told the hospital staff I would not take the meds, and slunk back to my bed to sink even deeper into my dark pit.
Miraculously I moved through and out the other side of the big black hole (a technique I share with clients and in my ‘Stop Depression Now’ program) but at the time I didn’t really understand what had happened. It took me another 15 years to fathom out the secrets to overcoming depression and now I can short-cut that process into days, weeks and months for people.
I remember when I was being admitted to the hospital, the registrar was asking me a heap of questions for his intake form. I hadn’t slept for 3 days and was feeling really irritated and angry. Inside I just wanted to scream at him, tell him to shut up and leave me alone, even hit him on the head with a stick! But I didn’t, I (semi) politely answered his questions, the anger and frustration seething inside.
Back then I had no idea that stored anger was one of the core motions which gets ‘stuck’ inside and builds up to symptoms of depression.
Back then I had no idea that stored anger was one of the core motions which gets ‘stuck’ inside and builds up to symptoms of depression. Back then I had no idea depression was the ‘de-pressing’ of emotions. Back then I was completely unaware of my feelings and of my inner world.
On my journey to heal from depression all that changed. I became intimately aware of my inner self, my feelings, my thoughts, my beliefs, my patterns, my self talk and a lot more. I had to, because I was determined to get to the bottom of the devastating feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, despair and sometimes even thinking it would be easier to not be alive.
It was another 12 years after that hospital incident before all the missing pieces of the puzzle fell into place and I truly understood the many causes of de-pression.
By then I had been unable to work for 5 years after being diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). I later learned that because I hadn’t fully identified and resolved the cause of the depression, the body has escalated my symptoms of de-pression into symptoms of chronic fatigue. By then I had searched the world (literally) for answers: I had reached a point I thought I may never get well, and in so doing set off round the world to have ‘one last go’ at finding the answers. And I found them.
I discovered that when we have an unhappy past, (and our problems almost always 99% of the time starts in childhood), we create a pattern of holding all our feelings inside, not speaking our truth, not standing up for our self, not being true to ourselves, pushing ourselves too hard in an unconscious attempt to get approval and love from others and more. And all that emotional gets stuffed down, sometimes with the help of food, alcohol, drugs, shopping and other addictions. And we disconnect ourselves from our true feelings, with devastating consequences.
When we bury our ‘not-good-feeling-feelings’, we also bury the ‘good-feeling’ happy ones along with them. So not only are we supressing our fears, anger, frustration, sadness, grief, loneliness and more, we cut ourselves off from our innate happiness, love, joy and inner peace.
Emotions are incredibly intelligent communication which we need to listen to.
So what is the solution?
If we want to stop feeling depressed (or any other illness for that matter) we must learn to identify and clear the emotions and feelings which hide themselves away beneath de-pression. Since learning this I have become a master of identifying, feeling and clearing my feelings, and it’s transformed my life. And I love sharing these techniques with others so they can transform their life from the inside out.
And we have to know that having emotions is not a bad thing. There are no bad emotions. Emotions are not good or bad, they just are, and actually they are incredibly intelligent communication which we need to listen to, because they are our body’s way of communicating its deepest and most important needs to us.
When we learn how to identify, process and clear emotional energy we free ourselves up in so many ways. The brain fog clears and our mind becomes creative and clear. The lethargy and fatigue disappear and we have energy to do whatever we want. Instead of feeling angry, sulky, sad or afraid we feel joyous and happy.
I shared my full story of depression and the 5 main emotions which get trapped underneath depression in a webinar recently, which is part one of my ‘Stop Depression Now’ program. You can watch the webinar on this page and check out the program.
In the Stop Depression Now program you will learn simple step-by-step techniques for identifying and clearing the emotions underneath symptoms. Plus we will do an ’emotional needs assessment’ to see how much your emotional needs were met when you were a child. This helps us to understand why we are the way we are, and takes the pressure off us beating ourselves up so much.
And if you happen to sign up for the program before the live training (which will only be run live once), you’ll get free access to my ‘Smile your way to Inner Peace’ program which teaches you how to dissolve emotions like sadness, fear, frustration, anger, worry and more from your internal organs (where emotions are stored).
If you’re ready to get over being depressed and get your life back, I’m ready to help you!
Be well 🙂
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