I share this in the spirit of giving hope:
- to anyone who has struggled with Qigong practice, in particular resistance to practice
- to anyone who has struggled with experiencing authentic happiness and peace
I started learning Qigong 18 years ago, and whilst I’ve always found the seated meditations pleasurable and relatively easy, standing and moving Qigong has been another kettle of fish.
I remember not so long ago sharing with a colleague how I found it difficult to maintain a consistent, daily practice, and he replied ‘well, why wouldn’t anyone want to practice every day?’, because for him practice was easy.
I’ve noticed over the years how regular practice seems to come effortlessly to some practitioners, whilst to others (like myself) it has been a constant daily battle to make myself to do something which I know will benefit me, and yet has been intensely challenging. At times, with such long gaps between practice, I even felt out of integrity to call myself a Qigong teacher.
I soul-searched for years, asking myself why something so good for me was so difficult, and the closest I came to an answer was recognizing a deep-seated resistance to feeling happy. Well, that made sense, because if doing Yuan Gong brings you to happiness, then anything threatening my old habit of unhappiness would meet resistance from my unconscious!
In particular standing form (Di Yuan) was my arch nemisis. I remember back in the days of Zhineng Qigong, finding myself in agony crumpled up on the floor during group practice, my feet seering in pain, whilst everyone else around me (or so it seemed) were blissfully standing in ‘3 centres merge’. And when I did manage to make it through a practice session, it was only because of the mental tactics I would employ to fool my mind to keep going through the intense bodily discomfort, such as counting the seconds of each minute on one finger until I used up all 10 fingers, and then starting all over again.
I’ve also spent years struggling to find an authentic happiness which some people just appeared to have naturally. I seemed to have a glass ceiling of happiness, and whenever anyone asked me ‘How are you today?’, even though I really wanted to say ‘great’ or ‘fine’ (and mean it), it just felt incongruent to say that because it wasn’t what I was feeling inside.
Well I’m happy to report that much of this seems to have changed after our final teacher training retreat last year.
For the first time ever I am enjoying Di Yuan standing form and it’s not agony. For the first time ever I am finding it pleasurable and easy. Yes, miracles do happen!
And I can truly say I have a sense of joy inside my heart I have never experienced before, so that when people ask me ‘how are you?’ I can genuinely answer ‘great’! After a lifetime of limited happiness, including periods of severe depression, I cannot tell you how great it is to be able to feel this.
And I can put this transformation down to 3 things:
- Persisting and keeping going even after long periods of no practice for days or weeks – just never giving up
- My heart finally opening enough to allow me to feel a constant state of warmth and contentment. I put this down to the effects of Tong Yuan practice.
- The overall effects of Ren Xue and Yuan Gong which if applied long enough will take effect
I am deeply grateful to have found Yuan Tze and his teachings. I knew from the moment I met him exactly 9 years ago that I had met the teacher I had been looking for.
After years of searching, there is no more searching. Now it’s just about learning and applying. Recently I went to a yoga festival with all sorts of wonderful presenters, and I had no desire to go to any of the classes, because all I want to do now is practice and implement what I have learnt through Ren Xue and Yuan Gong. It’s true when Yuan Tze says it’s important to find one vehicle to take you to your destination, and to go deep with that vehicle rather than skim along the surface trying lots of different approaches.
There is no doubt in my mind that Ren Xue has the tools to take us where we want to go, and the trick is to persevere and never give up.
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