Giving your troubles to Mother

“The most important role model for a child is the same sex parent” – Dr Phil

As an emotional intelligence therapist, I tend to mostly work with women (and a few men) who have experienced childhood emotional abuse, neglect, and emotionally absent parents.

One of the core problems if you’ve grown up with emotionally absent or abusive parents is that your emotional needs have not been fully met, or have not been met at all. But the problem is you don’t even know this because you were just used to what you experiencedit was your norm.

So for example you don’t know as a child that it’s not normal to feel afraid all the time, to be on tenterhooks and walking on eggshells, waiting for the next shoe to drop, argument to break out, or punishment to be meted out.

You don’t realize when you’re growing up that it’s not normal to lie in bed at night, feeling alone, isolated, afraid and confused, and that there’s something wrong with not being able to reach out or run to Mummy or Daddy for a comforting hug.

It’s usually not until we hear stories of what life was like for other people, our friends, colleagues… that we see how radically and fundamentally different our life was, and how actually what we experienced was not normal or healthy at all. 

And it’s often only later in life, when chronic unhappiness and illness set in, that the end-results of the dearth of nurturing make themselves known.

So here are a few questions for you  to help determine if you did, or didn’t, receive a healthy level of nourishing love:

  • When you were a child, how normal and safe was it for you to run to your parents when you felt upset, hurt, angry, disappointed?
  • How often did you get swept up in your parents arms to be kissed and cuddled and told you were gorgeous, beautiful, adorable?
  • How easy was it for you to run to your Mother with whatever upset you or you were experiencing to be held lovingly and told ‘everything’s going to be OK’?

Or did you experience a childhood where you:

  • Kept to yourself, held everything inside, because there was no point going to Mummy – she would just brush you aside, chastize you, shout at you, even punish you?
  • Lie in bed at night holding your teddy bear for comfort because that was the only thing you could hug and would hug you back?
  • Talk to your pets and love them with all your heart because they listened, and they didn’t judge you or be mean to you?
  • Crammed sweets and savouries down your throat every time you got upset because they made you feel better, comforted and safe?

Do you often wonder in awe as an adult, as you walk around the supermarket, and watch parents lovingly pick their children up or speak to their children with gentleness and kindness, and think to yourself ‘Wow, I wish I had been treated like that‘?

The ability to be able to run to our parents for nurturing and consolation is one of the most important needs for a growing child.

Without it we grow up feeling isolated, afraid, lonely, finding it difficult to ask for help, afraid to share our feelings with others, afraid to speak our truth, afraid to be happy, and much more than this.

With it we grow up feeling safe, nurtured, supported, able to move out into the world feeling strong and full of authentic self esteem and self value.

What to do now you’re grown up?

So what to do if you did grow up with a dearth of nurturing and love, and now it’s up to you to provide it and find it for yourself?

Well, for a start, do yourself a favour and don’t get into a dysfunctional relationship where you’re craving to get the love you never got from your parents, from a partner who can’t give you what you want, usually because they didn’t get it either when they were growing up.

By this I don’t mean you are not going to find, or shouldn’t find, a truly loving partner who will love you in a healthy way. What I mean is that when we didn’t get our needs met as a child, later on in life, if we don’t heal these unmet needs, we tend to unconsciously gravitate towards another adult who cannot meet our needs because their needs weren’t met either as a child, and so we unconsciously attract ourselves to a partner with the same issues as our emotionally absent parents! This will keep repeating until we change inside and heal our past.

Secondly, (or really firstly), learn to recognize the truth of how your past was. Many people will say to me “Oh my childhood was good, it was fine…” and yet when we dig deeper we discover they were not as happy as they thought they were. Yes, you might have had good friends, enjoyed school, enjoyed sports etc, but if you were constantly afraid and alone at home, this is not good, and unless the emotional trauma is recognized and cleared, it stays in the body at a cellular level and unconsciously keeps us unhappy and sick.

Thirdly, learn how to heal the past, let go of the trapped emotional energy… learn how to speak your truth, stand up for yourself, and ask for help… learn how to love yourself, appreciate yourself and value yourself. These are all absolutely necessary in order to experience authentic health, happiness and success in life because it is only from a solid rock of self value and self love that we can move out into the world to fulfil our dreams and life purpose.

And remember – no matter what happened, YOU ARE OK, you are a good person, you DO deserve LOVE and to be loved, you DO deserve to be happy, healthy and successful. These are you birthrights and you deserve them.

Never give up hope that you can come out the other side of an emotionally abusive childhood because with the right help and guidance you can!

About the author:

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Kim Knight is an emotional intelligence therapist who specializes in helping adult survivors of emotionally abusive childhoods to transform pain, unhappiness and sickness into health, happiness and fulfilment.



On ‘checking your breasts’ and why it may pay to ‘check’ this first

by Kim Knight, the Kiwi Health Detective

Wherever you put your attention, that is where your Qi will flow.
Your Qi (life force energy) solidifies into matter.
So what’s really happening when you’re looking for lumps?
Could you actually be creating them?

I remember sitting in a seminar training 20 years ago and being told that checking my breasts for lumps could actually lead to creating them. It was new information to me at the time.

A few years later, when I started to learn about ‘Qi’ and the power of the mind, this advice began to make sense.

So whilst many women may get up in the morning and check their breasts in bed or the shower, I’ll share a new perspective on this ‘breast-checking’ thing, and what may be a complimentary and enhanced breast-checking practice.


In order to understand why looking for lumps may inadvertently contribute to creating them, we need to understand the nature of how matter (materia) is created in the human body, and in order to do that it’s useful to understand the nature of ‘Qi’.

Qi is an Eastern term commonly translated as ‘energy’ in China and ‘Prana’ in Indian yogic traditions.

Most people understand Qi (if they’ve even heard of the term, which many haven’t) as the ‘life force energy’ which fuels our body. And this would be correct – just like we need petrol to run our car, we need Qi or Prana to run our body at a fundamental level.

However Qi is much more than only energy. It is energy impregnated with information. A description of Qi by Qigong teacher Master Yuan Tze is ‘Energy + Information + Mass’ (E+I+M).

So now we have 3 elements to Qi: energy, information and mass.

So why is this important to understand?

According to ancient Chinese philosophy, built on thousands of years of wisdom tradition, and which most people have heard about through acupuncture, the most fundamental building block of life is Qi.

When you magnify down through the cells and molecules of a human body, down to a quantum level (one of the smallest units of measurable matter or mass) you get to Qi. It’s a microscopically small level of matter which appears and looks more like energy than matter, but there is still an element of matter in Qi which is why it still contains ‘mass’ or matter.

So we know there is energy and mass in Qi, but what is the ‘information’?

This is the bit that makes Qi interesting!

All the information in your body-mind, ie, your thoughts, conditioning, unconscious beliefs, habits of thinking, mind-patterning, memories etc, are the information which program your Qi.

In turn your Qi solidifies to form the solid matter (bones, muscles, nerves, brain, muscles, tissues, organs, cells, molecules…) in your body. So really you are just solidified Qi! (energy + information + mass E+I+M).


Yes, I know I’m getting a bit Qi technical here, but bear with me.

To make things simple, just latch on to the fact that in Chinese medicine, rather than seeing the body as different systems (nervous, skeletal, cardio-pulmonary etc) they divide a human body into ‘Jing Qi and Shen’, and see  a structure of ‘Qi rivers’ running through it called meridians which are accessed through acupuncture points or ‘Qi gates’.

In a nutshell, and put simply, Jing is the physical body (matter), Qi is life force energy (E+I+M) and Shen is the mind. This is important for understanding the next step…


Before understanding why checking the breasts could lead to creating matter (lumps), we also need to understand a few laws of Qi.

One law of Qi, drilled into students of Qigong and Acupuncture, is that ‘Shen is the Master of Qi and Qi is the commander of blood’.

Shen (the mind) commands Qi (energy, information and mass) which in turn influences the blood (which flows through our body feeding, nurturing and growing our cells).

In Chinese medicine Shen (the mind) ‘directs’ the Qi in the body, which in turn becomes the physical matter (Jing) of our body.

In other words, wherever you put your attention, that is where you Qi will flow. Your Qi (life force energy) solidifies into matter. So what’s really happening when you’re looking for lumps? Could you actually be creating them?

So this leads to the question, what is the callibre of your thoughts, beliefs, habits, conditioning? Is the information which you are directing into your body healthy and life-affirming or damaging and depleting? You need to know because one route will lead to health, and the other to illness.

This is why as students of Qigong we learn the importance of directing ‘positive information’ into our cells, tissues and body, because the ‘information’ within the thoughts and feelings is literally affecting and changing our cells on a minute-to-minute basis, whether we are aware of it or not! Because we cannot get away from the fact that Shen (the mind) is the master of Qi (the energy, information and mass). Whatever information (thoughts, emotions etc) you send into your body turn into solidified physical reality!

Shen and Qi together ‘program’ the body (Jing). In other words, the quality of your thoughts and emotions creates physical changes in your body.

So does knowing this give you a different perspective of what ‘checking for a lump’ could be doing? If you are looking for a cancerous mass, what information is your Shen giving to Qi to distribute to your body?

Now that we know this we can, if we choose, we can radically change our perspective on things.

As a practitioner of many years helping people recover from chronic illness, I can attest to the importance of putting ‘good information’ into the body. I spent many years not putting good information in, and ended up creating many chronic health issues, including chronic fatigue syndrome, asthma, UTIs, allergies, back pain and more. It took many years to unravel and reverse this, and my goal for you is that you don’t have to get chronically ill before you get a ‘wake-up’ call to change the quality of your Shen and Qi!

Your organs, tissues and cells will be affected by the quality of the thoughts and information you give them on a cumulative basis.


So here’s a quick tip and exercise you can use.

The next time you have a pain, symptom or diagnosis, start to pump ‘good healthy’ information from your Shen (mind) around your body through your thoughts and feelings. Imagine the area as bright transparent energy, and IMAGINE AND SEE IT ALREADY HEALTHY.

(And by the way, you don’t have to have an illness to do this – you can use this as a health maintenance and illness prevention strategy, which is what the ancients have taught for thousands of years).

Send good healthy information to the area, see it already healthy or whole.

Whilst I am not suggesting instant miracles here, what I am saying is that that your organs, tissues and cells will be affected by the quality of the thoughts and information you give them on a cumulative basis. So what thoughts do you choose to give your symptoms or pain? Do you say “that hurts… I’m sick…” or do you say “everything is already healthy”? What information are you directing into your body?

I know this can sound counter-intuitive at first, but we cannot get away from the fact that our Shen (mind) programs our Qi and Body (Jing).

And just a word of caution – usually illness is created by an accumulation of negative thinking / habits / emotions / stress/ traumas etc, so to effect true complete healing we WILL need to address these issues. This is what I teach in my 9 pillars of health mastery, where we address all areas of your life to effect complete healing on all levels from the inside out, and as much as possible without the need for medication or supplements.

But as far as checking your breasts, if you’re going to ‘check’ them, please send positive, healthy information into them simultaneously, and give more focus to them being healthy than on having a lump!

And at the same time, you can lovingly massage them and thank them while sending in the good energy and information. This will be much more beneficial because your thoughts and feelings really do create the reality of your body!


You can check out my free ‘what causes illness’ or ‘what healthcare is right for me’ series for more ways to enhance your health from the inside out.

My colleague Johannes is running a webinar on what really causes breast cancer. IT WILL BE FASCINATING. If you are fed up of hearing the media going on about ‘finding a cure’ (and never doing so), or know someone who would like an alternative medication-free surgery-free option to breast cancer, THIS IS A MUST-WATCH EVENT. You can register here for the webinar.

Be well!


Kim Knight Desk 250pix 72dpi











Toxic people – do you know how to deal with them?

When we have a backlog of emotions like fear, grief, disappointment, anger, sadness and frustration inside of us, it literally changes the biochemical make up of our cells, and it changes how we feel, think and act the world. We become toxic!

I was reminded this week of what it’s like to experience and have to deal with ‘toxic’ people.

Unfortunately this is a far-too common experience for many of us.

For a long time I did not recognize the signs of a toxic person. This was because I grew up in a family where it was ‘the norm’ to be dumped on by one particular family member. I just got used to being put down, critisized, judged and humiliated and never thought it could be any different.

Unfortunately if we experience such behaviour in childhood we can grow up into adulthood tolerating this kind of behaviour and thinking it’s the norm and ‘we just have to put up with it’.

I can assure you nothing could be further from the truth. It’s never OK to tolerate nasty behaviour from others.

So how do you know if you have a ‘toxic’ person on your hands, and how do you manage them?

First of all let’s define a toxic person and understand why they are the way they are.


A toxic person will often or usually have a very negative outlook on life, and this will be demonstrated by the words that come out of their mouth, and their actions.

If you say something ‘positive’ they will turn it into a negative. They will put you down, demean, critisize, be sarcastic, judgemental, mean, cruel, unkind and more. They may have an ‘acid’ tongue (and I’ll explain the literal meaning of this in a moment).

For example, you come home with a joyous piece of news, you’re feeling really great, and you just want to share your joy. They immediately belittle, put down or ignore what you have to say, crushing your happiness in a second.

They always seem to be in a bad mood, they have nothing good to say. They are just plain miserable, inside and out.


As I mentioned above, toxic people have an ‘acid tongue’. This is literally because they are over-acidic inside at a biochemical level! If you were to get a PH thermometer and pop it in their mouth, it would show high on the acidity scale, and as humans we are meant to have a more alkaline balance.

So why are they so physically and emotionally acidic?

Because of the acid emotions they still have stored inside them!

When we have a backlog of emotions like fear, grief, disappointment, anger, sadness and frustration inside of us, it literally changes the biochemical make up of our cells, and it changes how we feel, think and act in the world! We become physically and emotionally toxic!

So why are all these stored emotions stuck in their body?

Because they have not had the opportunity to heal themselves from the pain they experienced growing up, from the toxic environment around them. Deep inside they are in pain.

And so the hurt and anger that is still inside seeps out onto others.  And sometimes it just splurges out, a pseudo ‘vomiting’ of toxicity onto others.

And what’s really hiding underneath this behaviour?

A deep cry for love and attention. 

As humans we have a deep need for love and affection, and if these needs are not met during the early formative years of life (0-7 years), we will continue to try and get them met in adulthood, but if we are completely unconscious to the back log of stored unhappiness inside of us, it will come out by unconsciously dumping the pain on others.

Dumping and projecting our pain onto others is the universes’ way of trying to get our attention to the fact that we ourselves are not happy.

But the problem is, until we see ourselves we cannot see any of the meaning in all of this. And so we project our unhappiness onto others, blaming the outside world for our own unhappiness, and it’s all happening unconsciously…. until it becomes conscious and we become self aware.

It’s essential to understand that no matter how much another person is hurting or is unconscious about their feelings, they do not have the right to take it out on someone else. This is verbal and emotional abuse.

So how do I know all this to be true?

Because I was one of those people that ‘dumped’ my anger onto others. I had no idea at the time I was doing it. I had no idea I had years of trauma and stored hurt inside of me. I had no idea this was why I sulked and was sullen as a child, or why I often felt impatient and intolerant with others. I had no idea this was why I would get angry at the smallest thing or shout at people down the phone for no reason!

It’s taken years of emotional clearing work to clear away much of this backlog, and there’s still some left! But at least when I feel emotions now, and have the urge to ‘dump’ on someone I have the self-awareness to know it’s MY stuff, not someone else’s. I can now refrain from taking it out on others, and instead own my feelings, process them myself, and then have more self-compassion for the little girl inside who never got the love she desperately wanted and needed from her parents. And if I do ever find the old toxic energy seeping out onto others, I front up, own up and apologize, which in turn heals my own heart.

And this is what we all have to do, especially if we have this backlog of emotions. We have to take full responsibility for our feelings and learn how to heal ourselves.

Because the thing is, only WE can change our life and change how we feel. And all the power to do so is inside of us, we just have to know how.

We teach people how to treat us


So, coming back to how do we deal with people when they are toxic, and unconsciously dumping all their hurt and pain on us?

It’s essential to understand that no matter how much another person is hurting or is unconscious about their feelings, they do not have the right to take it out on someone else. This is verbal and emotional abuse.

You will know when someone has not treated you right because your heart and gut brains will tell you so. You will cringe inside, feel ‘gutted’ (gut brain) and ‘hurt’ (heart brain). This is your body intelligence telling you it doesn’t feel right and it’s not OK. This is your internal emotional self defence system at work. (By the way, I have videos on Youtube about the 3 brains).

Now it’s up to you to do something about it, because no-one else can. It’s up to you to put a stop to such behaviour. And in the words of Dr Phil “we teach people how to treat us”.

So it’s up to us to learn how to put up clear boundaries and say ‘no’. It’s up to us to learn how to express our feelings honestly so that toxic emotions don’t build up inside of us. We have to learn it’s OK and necessary to meet our own needs. We have to learn we have a right to be happy and stand up for our self.

Teaching people how to be assertive and self-confident is something I spend a lot of time doing with clients. Learning how to be self-empowered is one of the most important and valuable lessons we can and must learn. And in every case so far, anyone I have worked with who has a chronic illness (eg chronic fatigue, depression, fibromyalgia, IBS etc) has a backlog of old hurts and emotional pains inside which need clearing).

You are not here to be anyone’s emotional punching bag. 

So next time you have a toxic person in your life dump on you, know that it doesn’t have to be this way. You are not here to be someone else’s emotional punching bag so that they don’t have to deal with their own unhappiness. (Unless you choose to do so. It’s really up to you!)

So have you had enough of this behaviour? Do you want a different way?

If you want to know how to say no, how to speak your truth, how to put a stop to toxic people in your life, this is exactly what I love helping people do.

Do join me in one of my online self help or live training programs. Because I want to help you be the happiest person you can be, and deserve to be.

And here’s a handy tip I’ve learned from 12 years of helping people put a stop to toxic partners, children, parents, friends, bosses, colleagues….

When we change our behaviour towards these people, they change their behaviour towards us, because they can no longer play the game! It works I can assure you, but often we are the ones who have to take the first step, or nothing will change.

And another tip – they become happier once a healthier emotional environment is established!

I will be going into more detail on this on my ‘Stop Bullies Now’ program (coming soon – keep an eye on my website or if you are signed up on any of my free programs you will get notification!).

Or you may wish to join my ‘Stop Depression Now’ program which also teaches how to identify and clear the backlog of emotions which build up to become ‘de-pression’.

Until then, stay strong and don’t put up with toxic people in your life! You are not here to be someone else’s emotional punch bag.


The Kiwi Health Detective

Image courtesy of 

Breast Cancer – Are you being kept out of the loop?

When we have inflammation, swelling, dragging or stinging pain in the breasts, and have been diagnosed with Carcinoma in Situ, this may be the breasts going through a regeneration self-healing cycle after a period of significant emotional trauma to do with loss of touch or nurturing. 
Next week is BREAST CANCER awareness week. and I get asked to stand on street corners with a bucket to collect money.
Every year the TV and radio ads go on and on about ‘finding a cure’. But here’s the thing: many of the answers are already here, they’re just not well known (yet).
So I’d rather spend my time writing a blog like this to give people REAL information that can help them right now, rather than waiting for this elusive ‘cure for cancer’ which never seems to arrive via the media.
So here’s the low down on breast cancer which you’re probably not being told:


The body is an incredibly intelligent machine. It knows how to maintain health and it knows how to heal itself. If we get ill there are tangible, discoverable, resolvable reasons, and symptoms are rarely (if ever) random.


Symptoms are not a mistake and come in response to the stresses and emotional challenges we have in our life. They come as a result of uncleared emotional hurts from the past, or present, building up to such a state of ‘dis-ease’ within the body that they turn into ‘disease’.


Symptoms also come as a result of the unconscious ‘damage’ we do to ourselves by living a life that is not in harmony with the ‘laws of life’ and ‘laws of health’ which we are unwittingly breaking. Just as when we break a law in society there are consequences (eg jail) so too are there consequences when we break the laws of health. The question is, do you know what these laws are, and are you breaking them? If you are ill, the answer will be yes. (By the way don’t get offended, worried or concerned by that statement – we are always doing our best as a human being, it’s just we do things unconsciously that harm us).


Symptoms have meaning and message. They have a purpose. It’s up to us to decipher the meaning beneath them. Do you know how to do that? Most people don’t, because we haven’t been taught how to. In fact, most of us are not even taught to question symptoms. They just ‘are’.


Society and ‘the establishment’ tell us to ‘fight’ the ‘war’ on cancer. No-one ever wins a war. It’s not about fighting any illness. It’s about getting on the same side of symptoms and making friends with them. Symptoms are your friend. They have a message to tell. They have a story. They are trying to tell you something very important. The question is, will you listen? Will you take the time to interpret them? Without the right tools and skills this can be really hard, especially as we all have our own ‘dark side of the moon’ where we just don’t ‘see’ our own stuff.


Every cell, tissue and organ in the body has a dual function: physical and ‘meta’ physical. Meta means beyond or above, so metaphysical is not some ‘woo woo’ term. It just means beyond physical.

So for example whilst the digestive tract digests our food, it also has to digest our emotional life. This is the BIGGEST missing piece in understanding the real root cause of any symptoms or illness.

stress regen cycle simple

Symptoms are often a sign the body is already self-healing and in a so-called ‘regeneration’ cycle. This applies to breast cancer too.

Bearing in mind the physical function of the breasts is to ‘nurture’, so it is for the metaphysical function. It’s all about how much do you feel nurtured? Were you nurtured as a child?  Are you nurturing yourself? Are you being nurtured by others right now in your life?

For example, Carcinoma in Situ:

When we have inflammation, swelling, dragging or stinging pain in the breasts, and have been diagnosed perhaps with Carcinoma in Situ, this may actually be the breasts going through the regeneration self-healing cycle after the body-mind has experienced a ‘regeneration trigger’ after a period of significant emotional trauma to do with loss of touch or nurturing. 

For example, say you are in a loveless or abusive marriage for 10 years and are receiving no nurturing love or attention from your partner. During this time you have felt frustrated, unloved, unheard, invalidated, sad, lonely, upset, devastated… but you put up with it because you don’t know how to stand up for yourself or meet your needs (which in turn is due to childhood experiences we don’t have time to go there in this blog).

You suffer in silence, the emotional pain building up inside you for years. Then you finally decide ‘it’s enough’, it’s the last straw, I’m finally going to leave him’ and you do.

It’s traumatic, it’s difficult to leave, but at the same time it’s a HUGE RELIEF because FINALLY you are putting yourself first, you are meeting your own needs. You are LOVING  AND NURTURING YOURSELF.

You make the decision and you part ways. You move out, and although it’s lonely to begin with, and quite a shock to be on your own, your body HEAVES A SIGH OF RELIEF as you are finally out of this ongoing stressful environment which was creating untold ongoing levels of stress and emotional pain. This is the regeneration trigger. Your body can now start to heal and re-balance itself, as it is perfectly designed to do. And paradoxically it starts to manifest symptoms of inflammation, swelling, dragging or stinging pain in the breasts, and you are diagnosed with Carcinoma in Situ. 

Oh my God! Immediately you think something is wrong and panic. The fear kicks in. “I have cancer”. This is how it is for so many women – so much fear because the underlying causes of symptoms (any symptoms) is not understood.

What you haven’t been told is that the breast ducts are affected by LOSS OF TOUCH or LACK OF NURTURING. You have not been told that during the stress phase (eg when you are putting up with the emotionally stressful marriage) there will be ulcerative dilatation, numbness and perhaps retracted nipple. The numbness comes from your body-mind ‘numbing out’ the emotional pain.

Then in the regeneration phase, after the regeneration trigger (of moving out, putting yourself first etc) the inflammation, swelling, dragging, stinging begins. And that is when the diagnosis of Carninoma in Situ is made. From the doctor’s perspective ‘it’s a mistake, it’s bad’. From the body-mind’s perspective, it’s self-healing. What a radical shift in perspective!

The body is far too intelligent to make mistakes. It does not make mistakes. Symptoms are not a mistake!


The body is far too intelligent to make mistakes. It does not make mistakes. Symptoms are not a mistake! Your body is doing what it needs to do to re-balance after the period of stress and emotional trauma. It knows what it is doing.

I do need to stress at this point that the example above is a simplistic example of how this works, but hopefully it will give you an idea and some fresh perspectives.

The main point is that symptoms are not a mistake, they have a meta-physical meaning, and if we work out what the emotional trauma cause is, and HEAL THAT, then the body will heal itself because it’s designed a self-healing machine.

And the other point here is that we can stop being so afraid of symptoms and diagnoses. We can start to understand that the body knows how to heal itself, and as long as we heal the underlying emotional pain, it will self-rectify, because it’s designed to do so.

We all know this on one level: if you break an arm, you expect it to heal. But remember, it’s not the plaster cast doing the healing. The plaster cast just holds the bones in place so the body can work its magic.

If you find this all too hard to believe and are saying ‘what a load of poppy cock’ I hear you. This will either (a)  sound unbelievable if this is the first time you are hearing such a theory or (b) you will say “Oh my God, this makes so much sense”. This leads me to the next topic…

The level of healthcare you choose will depend on your own internal (subconscious) beliefs which come from your familial / societal / cultural / personal conditioning.

The level of healthcare you choose will depend on your own internal (subconscious) beliefs which come from your familial / societal / cultural / personal programming or conditioning. We are all unconsciously ‘programmed’ by the age of 7 by our environment, depending on the culture, country, family of origin, ancestral history and more. So what are you ‘HEALTH BELIEFS’? What do you believe is possible around health? What have you been taught about healing and illness?

For myself, I grew up thinking the one and only solution was to go to a doctor and get medication or have surgery. I was never told that symptoms have a meaning or purpose and that you question why they are there. I was never told this. What about you? What is your programming?


You can check out my free ‘what causes illness’ or ‘what healthcare is right for me’ series for more ways to enhance your health from the inside out.

This is why I created my free e-book ‘Your health beliefs guide’ which you can find inside the free online program ‘Which healthcare model do I choose?’ 

You may also wish to find out more about the causes of illness (any illness) in my free ‘What causes illness’ online program, which talks about the many physical, mind, emotional, environmental causes of illness. It goes into great detail of how we choose our healthcare options according to our unconscious programming and beliefs!


My colleague Johannes is running a webinar on what really causes breast cancer. IT WILL BE FASCINATING. If you are fed up of hearing the media going on about ‘finding a cure’ (and never doing so), or know someone who would like an alternative medication-free surgery-free option to breast cancer, THIS IS A MUST-WATCH EVENT. You can register here for the webinar.

I also highly recommend you seek yourself out a Lifestyle Prescriptions Health Coach. They are trained (like myself) to decipher the hidden messages in symptoms, the deeper meaning within the illness. We can show you how to reverse symptoms without medication, just by healing the root emotional causes, and yes, it’s possible!

So the question is, are your health beliefs serving you or keeping you from the answers and solutions you really want?

If you’re happy with your healthcare choices, great! But if you want more answers, more solutions, more understanding, more choices, and in particular want another route that doesn’t involve medication, supplements or surgery, then maybe it’s time to upgrade your healthcare choices!

Wishing you the healthiest life!
The Kiwi Health Detective


Images courtesy


Kim Knight Health does not diagnose, cure, treat or heal any person or health condition. All information on this site is for informational purposes only and by reading this blog you take full responsibility for how you use this information. Please seek the appropriate medical advice for your particular situation.

Breaking the Taboo on Depression

25 years ago when I was diagnosed with clinical depression, a few months later I found myself lying in a dark pit of despair in a hospital bed. I felt there was no hope and had no idea how to turn things around. 

I didn’t know who to tell or who to turn to. I felt so ashamed. And so alone.

Back then being depressed was not spoken about and people thought you were a bit ‘weird’ if you were depressed. And as far as having a mental breakdown, well that was absolutely off the table as far as topic to talk about – you were just ‘crazy’. So there I was, both weird and crazy!

I remember lying there in bed thinking ‘who shall I tell? Which friends shall I call?’

In the end I decided to call them all, and a funny thing happened: the ones I thought would handle it and would ‘be there for me’ couldn’t and weren’t, and the ones I thought wouldn’t be there for me were!

This showed me two things:

  1. Who my friends are in difficult times.
  2. When people don’t know how to deal with their own emotions, they have difficulty dealing with other people’s feelings, because seeing someone else in a mess stirs up their own unconscious feelings which they’d rather not deal with.

Fortunately things have changed and being depressed or having a nervous breakdown is much more accepted and understood.

Fortunately things have changed and being depressed or having a nervous breakdown is much more accepted and understood, but even so, people who have not experienced the depths of depression or mental breakdown really have no idea what it really feels like on the inside. And still even today people tend not to speak about it unless they have very close friends they feel they can trust implicitly with their deepest secrets.

This is why I am so passionate about helping people (a) understand that it’s not a defect to experience depression or breakdown and (b) there are simple ways out of it, often without the need for medication or supplements.

Personally I tried taking medication, but it just made me feel worse, even groggier, more brain fogged and mentally confused. A voice inside of me told me there was another way and I could find it. I obstinately told the hospital staff I would not take the meds, and slunk back to my bed to sink even deeper into my dark pit.

Miraculously I moved through and out the other side of the big black hole (a technique I share with clients and in my ‘Stop Depression Now’ program) but at the time I didn’t really understand what had happened. It took me another 15 years to fathom out the secrets to overcoming depression and now I can short-cut that process into days, weeks and months for people.

I remember when I was being admitted to the hospital, the registrar was asking me a heap of questions for his intake form. I hadn’t slept for 3 days and was feeling really irritated and angry. Inside I just wanted to scream at him, tell him to shut up and leave me alone, even hit him on the head with a stick! But I didn’t, I (semi) politely answered his questions, the anger and frustration seething inside.

Back then I had no idea that stored anger was one of the core motions which gets ‘stuck’ inside and builds up to symptoms of depression.

Back then I had no idea that stored anger was one of the core motions which gets ‘stuck’ inside and builds up to symptoms of depression. Back then I had no idea depression was the ‘de-pressing’ of emotions. Back then I was completely unaware of my feelings and of my inner world.

On my journey to heal from depression all that changed. I became intimately aware of my inner self, my feelings, my thoughts, my beliefs, my patterns, my self talk and a lot more. I had to, because I was determined to get to the bottom of the devastating feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, despair and sometimes even thinking it would be easier to not be alive.

It was another 12 years after that hospital incident before all the missing pieces of the puzzle fell into place and I truly understood the many causes of de-pression.

By then I had been unable to work for 5 years after being diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). I later learned that because I hadn’t fully identified and resolved the cause of the depression, the body has escalated my symptoms of de-pression into symptoms of chronic fatigue. By then I had searched the world (literally) for answers: I had reached a point I thought I may never get well, and in so doing set off round the world to have ‘one last go’ at finding the answers. And I found them.

I discovered that when we have an unhappy past, (and our problems almost always 99% of the time starts in childhood), we create a pattern of holding all our feelings inside, not speaking our truth, not standing up for our self, not being true to ourselves, pushing ourselves too hard in an unconscious attempt to get approval and love from others and more. And all that emotional gets stuffed down, sometimes with the help of food, alcohol, drugs, shopping and other addictions. And we disconnect ourselves from our true feelings, with devastating consequences.

When we bury our ‘not-good-feeling-feelings’, we also bury the ‘good-feeling’ happy ones along with them. So not only are we supressing our fears, anger, frustration, sadness, grief, loneliness and more, we cut ourselves off from our innate happiness, love, joy and inner peace.

Emotions are incredibly intelligent communication which we need to listen to.

So what is the solution?

If we want to stop feeling depressed (or any other illness for that matter) we must learn to identify and clear the emotions and feelings which hide themselves away beneath de-pression. Since learning this I have become a master of identifying, feeling and clearing my feelings, and it’s transformed my life. And I love sharing these techniques with others so they can transform their life from the inside out.

And we have to know that having emotions is not a bad thing. There are no bad emotions. Emotions are not good or bad, they just are, and actually they are incredibly intelligent communication which we need to listen to, because they are our body’s way of communicating its deepest and most important needs to us.

When we learn how to identify, process and clear emotional energy we free ourselves up in so many ways. The brain fog clears and our mind becomes creative and clear. The lethargy and fatigue disappear and we have energy to do whatever we want. Instead of feeling angry, sulky, sad or afraid we feel joyous and happy.

I shared my full story of depression and the 5 main emotions which get trapped underneath depression in a webinar recently, which is part one of my ‘Stop Depression Now’ program. You can watch the webinar on this page and check out the program.

In the Stop Depression Now program you will learn simple step-by-step techniques for identifying and clearing the emotions underneath symptoms. Plus we will do an ’emotional needs assessment’ to see how much your emotional needs were met when you were a child. This helps us to understand why we are the way we are, and takes the pressure off us beating ourselves up so much.

And if you happen to sign up for the program before the live training (which will only be run live once), you’ll get free access to my ‘Smile your way to Inner Peace’ program which teaches you how to dissolve emotions like sadness, fear, frustration, anger, worry and more from your internal organs (where emotions are stored).

If you’re ready to get over being depressed and get your life back, I’m ready to help you!

Be well 🙂


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The 7 Types of Fatigue which lead to Chronic Fatigue and ME

There can be much misunderstanding and confusion over the real meaning behind symptoms of ‘chronic fatigue’, and what actually causes various kinds and types of debilitating  exhaustion.

There can also be much confusion over the difference between the labels of ‘ME’ (myalgic encephalomyelitis), ‘chronic fatigue syndrome’ (CFS), ‘post viral fatigue’, burnout, ‘adrenal fatigue’ and more, all conditions which leave one with the experience of overwhelming and seemingly inexplicable tiredness.

So I hope this blog will go a way to explaining the differences.

What I am about to share comes from 20 years of research into this topic, as a result of my own personal experience of adrenal fatigue, chronic fatigue syndrome and burnout, plus working with hundreds of clients since 2006 with these conditions.

Before we get into the 7 unhealthy types of fatigue, we must first look at what normal healthy tiredness is…


Normal healthy tiredness is the tiredness that our body sends us at the end of the day to tell us it’s time for bed!

This type of tiredness will come on for most adults around 9-10pm, (although this will vary from person to person), and is the body’s natural clock telling us it’s time to go to bed so our body can rest and rejuvenate itself for the next day.

The amount of sleep each adult needs will vary. An average amount is 6-8 hours, for some it could be less, for others more, but the point is, we should wake in the morning feeling refreshed and ready to bounce out of bed for the new day.

Waking tired and sluggish is a sign we have not rested well overnight, and there are usually many reasons for this, which is not the scope or topic of this blog.

The main point here is to point out that this tiredness is healthy and normal, and chronic fatigue-type tiredness is nothing like normal healthy tiredness, as you will soon see.

So let’s now look at the different types of tiredness which can and will eventually lead to chronic exhaustion.

You will notice below how the different types of tiredness will are labelled as a ‘end-result’. This is because we live in a world of ’cause and effect’ where ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. And many people are unaware of the difference!

Just as if we break the laws of society there will be consequences, so too in the land of health. If we break the laws of health, we will experience illness. It’s just nature’s way of telling us we have gone off track and need to get back on track.

So let’s get straight into it – the 7 types of fatigue which will, or will not, lead to debilitating fatigue conditions…


Hyped tiredness comes from getting over-excited.

In Chinese medicine, over-excitement is actually classified as a negative and damaging emotion along with fear, anxiety, sadness, anger and other harmful emotions (harmful in the respect they deplete or disrupt our energy flow).

When we get over-excited, this affects the energy (or Qi) of our heart. Which is why Qigong masters will teach it is healthier to not get over-excited. This does not mean we do not experience joy, it just means we recognize when we are getting ‘over-excited’ and curb this tendency.

Have you noticed that after getting over-excited, for example after receiving some really ‘exciting’ news such as winning lotto, hearing about a new job, making that big deal… a few hours later you may feel absolutely drained? This is the ‘effect’ of the ’cause’ of the heart getting over-excited. It is the other side of the coin, the yin (healing) of the yang (over-excitement). Everything in nature has to balance itself out, what goes up must come down. So if we feel a tiredness after getting excited, this is a natural re-balancing.

Whilst this type of hyped tiredness will not necessarily lead to chronic fatigue, it is something we need to watch for by noticing how our body responds after bouts of excitement.

The next one to watch for after this type of tiredness is…


Food sensitivity tiredness usually comes after eating a meal where the food has not been well tolerated by our gut. It often comes after eating carbs as opposed to protein or vegetables.

This is usually a sign that our gut has an imbalance, or ‘dsybiosis’, which is commonly referred to as ‘leaky gut syndrome’.

Most people will blame the tiredness on the food, and see the food as the ’cause’ of the problem, but actually this is not necessarily the case. What we need to do is to look at why is the gut out of balance in the first place, which is then leading it to not be able to tolerate the foods?

Whilst it may well be true that many of our modern-day foods are not healthy for us, (eg refined flour, sugar etc), it is also true that the healthier our body is, the more it can tolerate different foods, every ‘unhealthy’ ones.

But the question remains, what is it that has put the gut out of balance at a fundamental level?

In my experience, the real cause is not the food: it is the stress we put ourselves under, and in particular emotional stresses which create havoc with our digestive system.

Did you know that your digestive system has a dual function? On a physical level it has to digest your food, and on a meta-physical level it has to digest your life, and in particular your emotional life?

This is a big missing piece for many people. Which is why, whilst you take every supplement under the sun, and some may help, until you address the fundamental cause of the stress, your gut may find it difficult to restore complete balance, and how by addressing the absolute root causes, your gut may well recover without then need for supplements at all.


Emotional release tiredness happens after we have experienced an extreme emotional release, such as sadness, anger, grief, fear…

Have you noticed how after an anger outburst, or huge emotional release, you feel exhausted?

This is because we literally drain our energy when we have powerful emotional outbursts or experiences.

Whilst on the one hand it can be said it’s healthy to ‘let go’ of emotional baggage, in Chinese medicine it is not deemed healthy to have emotional releases because it literally harms the Qi (energy) of our internal organs.

Every time we experience extreme sadness or anger or fear, chemical changes are instigated inside our body, whereby different hormones are secreted, and these chemical changes can and do harm our fragile internal tissues. Believe it or not, people have literally burst their livers during an anger outburst!

In a natural effort to regain balance after a strong emotional release or outburst, we can feel tired as the body restores internal equilibrium.

Again, whilst this type of fatigue is not chronic-fatigue-type tiredness, it is not healthy and we need to train ourselves to deal with our emotions in healthier ways, which is completely possible.


Blocking or suppressing emotions is one THE biggest causes of physical tiredness that can occur, and the least recognized or understood by people until they are taught this information.

For me this was the turning point in my recovery from adrenal fatigue and chronic fatigue syndrome, as well as depression (de-pressing emotions) and anxiety (an overload of emotions).

We are an energy being, quantum physics has proven this for some years now. Magnified a million times, each cell in your body has more space than physical matter!

Our thoughts are energy, our feelings are energy, our body is energy. We are energy! And when we hold in our emotional energy, because a law of physics says ENERGY CANNOT BE DESTROYED, once that emotional energy is generated inside the body, if it is not released or dealt with, it will get stored in the body until we do.

Most people have no idea of how much holding in emotions can and will create severe symptoms of chronic fatigue!

Learning to identify, clear, resolve, dissolve, speak, communicate, manage and master emotions is an absolute essential if you are experiencing symptoms of chronic fatigue or ME etc. This is what I teach people to do big time!

Another type of tiredness is…


Over-doing it tiredness is exactly what it says: it is tiredness that comes from constantly pushing ourselves and doing too much or more than is naturally healthy for us.

We work 60 hours a week, rushing from activity to activity, and then crash on the weekend as our body attempts to redress the imbalance.

Unfortunately as human beings we tend to forget our body is not a machine or designed to be ‘run into the ground’. It has needs, it needs to be cared for with love, respect and attention on a daily basis. Most people care for their car or house better than they care for their body… until it gets ill and they have to finally pay attention.

Our body needs BALANCE. It needs food, water, exercise, rest, fun, creativity, work, play, sleep, activity… in balance.

What it doesn’t need is to be driven like a work horse day after day, having many of its basic needs ignored or under-addressed.

Eating on the run, skipping meals, working 60 hours a week, not taking breaks, not sleeping enough, not exercising, eating junk food, drinking alcohol, smoking, spending hours sitting, not going outside for fresh air, back-to-backing appointments… these are all examples of not taking care of ourselves. What’s on your list?

The deeper question to recognize is WHY do we overdo it? WHY do we push ourselves so hard? With every client I have ever worked with who constantly pushes themselves too hard, the answer is always the same. NOT FEELING GOOD ENOUGH.

Deep down there is a hidden feeling of ‘If I don’t do more, or prove myself more, I won’t feel good enough, and people won’t accept or like me. I’ll be a failure and no-one will love with’.

This stems from whatever beliefs we set up in childhood, and these are the patterns that need to be worked on and cleared to effect true change.

Over-doing it tiredness is not healthy and is a sure sign you need to pay attention to your habits, because not doing so, along with holding in emotions, will start to lead to….


Adrenal Fatigue describes a physical condition whereby the adrenal glands, which sit on top of the kidneys, exhaust themselves of adrenoline.

Symptoms of adrenal fatigue include inexplicable tiredness, foggy brain, difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, salt and sugar cravings, decreased sex drive, mild depression, increased PMS, poor memory, inability to handle stress, insomnia, gut issues, food intolerances, general lethargy, decreased zest for life and more.

Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome was a term first brought to the world by naturopathic doctor James Wilson, and is a very real syndrome involving a complex group of symptoms which all track back to severe exhaustion and depletion of the adrenal glands.

The adrenals are mostly known for creating two vital hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, which are necessary for managing stress.

Initially, in the first stage of adrenal fatigue, the adrenals will over-produce stress hormones, but if the life stressors (which can be many fold) continue, eventually the adrenals will become ‘exhausted’ and under-produce, which in turn can be a precursor to a host of other conditions such as metabolic syndrome, under- or overactive thyroid, Addison’s Disease, Hashimotos and more. Many of the chronic conditions which we experience often rest on a bedrock of severe adrenal depletion.

There are several stages that the adrenals go through before they finally become exhausted, which I will not go into in this article. But suffice it to say this is a fairly serious condition which we must take seriously, because it means our energy reserves are severely depleted, and we will feel exhausted.

If you want to check out if your adrenals may be fatigued, you can take this adrenal self-assessment here.

If we do not deal with our adrenal fatigue and over-doing it fatigue we are likely to start experiencing…


Burnout tiredness is the tiredness we feel after we have been over-doing it and pushing ourselves relentlessly for far too long. Eventually the body just says ‘enough is enough – I cannot go on like this any more. I cannot take being driven like a work horse, or you ignoring my needs – I’m absolutely exhausted’.

Burnout will mean we will feel like we just cannot go on another day. Our temper will be frayed, we cannot stand loud noises, we can hardly get out of bed in the morning, we have just reached the end of our tether. And yet we keep going!

But finally after our body can no longer take any more we will find ourselves with…


Chronic fatigue (CFS), post-viral fatigued and ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis) are the final end results of all the above.

Finally we find ourselves unable to get out of bed or doing any thing considered ‘normal’ in our everyday life. We have no energy for work, play or even rest.

We find ourselves having to quit our job, unable to look after or play with the kids, travel, pursue hobbies, read a book, type a letter, take a shower, hold a conversation, lift a cup, cook a meal, go for a walk, go to the gym… activities which we took for granted before.

We get to a point where our life is disrupted beyond recognition. This is the place where most people get to before they finally recognize (re-cognize) that they are ill, even though the writing has been on the wall for some months or years.

This type of tiredness does not ‘happen overnight’ although the ‘waking up and not being able to get out of bed’ can happen overnight. It is the body’s final way of saying ‘that’s it, I’m taking you out, you WILL get the message I have been trying to get through to you that you need to change your ways, because if you don’t I will send you something even more serious’.

Finally we come to a point where we must take notice because we are too debilitated not to. Finally we stop and start asking questions.

This is the point I came to 20 years ago. I walked into work one day and quit my job on the spot. I could not go on one day longer. It was the start of a very long journey back to health, where I was unable to work for 10 years. I lost everything financially in that journey – house, car, savings…

My wish for people is that they learn to recognize the ‘signs on the wall’ and avoid having to take such a journey. Fortunately, I am able to help people short-cut this experience by months and years, either by helping them before they reach the end of the road, or help them to reverse the end-results in a much shorter time than they could ever do by themselves. Which I am able to do.


This type of tiredness must be mentioned here too.

The tiredness experienced after a viral infection, where afterwards we find we cannot get ourselves together or regain our energy, is known as ‘post viral fatigue’.

Often people can think their CFS or ME etc is a result of the virus.

This may not be the case, and in my experience working with hundreds of clients, is not the actual real cause of the tiredness.

Normally what we will find is the the stressors and all above mentioned fatigues were going on for months and years before the post viral fatigue set in. It’s just that the virus was the LAST STRAW for our body, and it finally collapsed, and allowed a virus in.

This is one of the most misunderstand concept around post-viral fatigue.

You can understand this in this brief video:

And let me mention one further type of (sort of) healthy tiredness…


As part of our recovery from exhaustion, burnout, chronic fatigue, ME, post viral fatigue, we are going to go through a period of ‘healing tiredness’. This is a natural part of the re-balancing of yin and yang.

If we have spent years pushing ourselves far too hard, our body needs time to rest and recuperate. Just as your body needs to rest after a very stressful or busy day, and you will feel tired the day after over-doing it, magnify this hundreds of times for the number of hours or days you have spent overdoing it, and there is quite  a shortfall to catch up on!

The trick and challenge is to learn the difference between when your body needs rest and recuperation, and when it doesn’t because the tiredness is due to suppressed emotional energy.

This is one of the trickiest things to learn, and is one of the main things I help people with through personal coaching.

So… I hope this information will prompt you to re-assess your tiredness and work out the different contributing factors which may be creating it.

Be warned – the emotional suppression tiredness is the trickiest one to notice, because often we have no idea we have been suppressing our emotions!

For more information and help check out the resources on:

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime

Yesterday I was humbled and blown away by something a client shared with me, and it made me remember why we are here on planet earth, and why I do what I do as a vocation. It also prompts me to share something I have told very few people, because it’s very personal.

First of all I need to give some background to put this story into perspective…

In 2000 I met a very great spiritual teacher – Amma – who is also known as the ‘hugging saint’. I think to date Amma has given spiritual ‘hugs’ to around 30 million people. She is beyond a saint and in spiritual terms known as an ‘avatar’ or great being who comes to the world in times of great need.

I met Amma on my trip around the world in 1999 while I was searching for answers to the illness which had keep me virtually housebound for 5 years – chronic fatigue syndrome.

I had set off around the world on ‘one last trip’ because after 5 years unable to work or barely function, I was on the edge of giving up hope of getting well again. So I set off round the world while I was still able to walk, to do ‘one last trip’ in case I got worse and could no longer do anything.

After 11 months I had still not found answers even after trying multiple therapies, and finding myself incapacitated on many occasion for weeks at a time, and this is when my path crossed with Amma.

Being in her presence the first time was an extraordinary experience and one I will never forget. The deep peace I felt after her first hug left me in a state of satori (bliss) for hours. I had never experienced anything like it. My mind stopped, there were no more thoughts, and I was immediately transformed forever. I accepted her as my teacher (or rather she accepted me as her student).

During her 3 day retreat in Dallas I was given a mantra (a phrase repeated to aid concentration in meditation), which is carefully chose for each student, and I left the workshop to practice it daily,

It was a week after her retreat that I met the first person who ever really helped me understand the connection between suppressed emotions and illness, and from that day everything changed, and I started to get better. It was another 6 years of putting the emotional clearing practices I learnt into place on a daily basis before I felt well enough to work again.

I discovered 10 years after meeting Amma that she visits Australia every 2 or 3 years. On discovering this I met with her for the second time in 2010. This time I asked for a spiritual name, which one is able to do when it is the right time.

The point of a spiritual name from a ‘guru’ or teacher (guru literally means ‘dispeller of darkness’) is that it describes a trait or series of abilities one is to ‘live up to’ or fulfil in this lifetime. It is a guiding post showing one one’s purpose in life, and in particular one’s purpose for being of service to the world and humanity.

I was told ‘no, it’s not your time to have a spiritual name… ask again next time’. I left the retreat and continued practicing my mantra daily, and returned 3 years later in 2012, when I asked again for a spiritual name. This time she said yes.

Each spiritual name is always absolutely unique and personal for each person. It is a word which comes from their Soul and has deep deep meaning.

The name Amma gave me was ‘PRANADA’ which translates as ‘bestower of life’. As soon as I was told it’s meaning, I knew what it meant for me and why it had been given. It felt like a huge responsibility and I didn’t share it with anyone for quite some time.

At this stage in my life I had already been working for 6 years as a therapist helping people get well from debilitating illnesses which most doctors tend to say are incurable, or at least unmanageable without medication, things like chronic fatigue, ME, fibromyalgia, IBS, depression and more. I knew I was already helping to ‘give people their life’ back.

But it wasn’t until yesterday that I realised just how much this is the truth:

I checked in with a client who had just had her parents to visit for a week.

Now for many people this may not be a big deal, but for this client it was.

When she first came to see me she was beyond collapse. She was barely able to look after herself or her children or function in any normal capacity due to beyond extreme fatigue and pain.

In our first breakthrough session, where we identified the true reason her symptoms had been created, we discovered she had spent her whole life holding all her feelings inside, afraid of speaking her truth with her friends, parents, husband… She had held everything inside for fear of being judged, scorned, invalidated, misunderstood, criticised, humiliated or even punished.

She had driven her body to exhaustion by constantly overdoing it in an unconscious effort to get love and attention from people in her life as a result of not feeling completely loved as a child.

I have to say that this issue sits at the root of every client I have ever worked with for the past 11 years. Not feeling good enough, worthy enough, clever enough, or just plain ‘enough’, is the root cause issue of the beliefs, thoughts, feelings and behaviours we then create which later down the track lead us to feeling either desperately unhappy or ill. Illness is just a furtherance of the hidden unhappiness.

As a teenager this deep sense of unworthiness had led this client to experience an eating disorder, anxiety and depression. Later this led to exhaustion and severe fatigue / pain symptoms.

So the anticipation of having her parents come to visit was a big deal, because it triggered her body right back into the fear and stress response she had experienced as a child.

Before her parents arrived, we made a plan of action, in particular around ‘boundaries’ and what she needed to set in place to make the visit work for her. We planned how she would put herself first and make herself a priority. We practised how she was going to say this with her parents so she felt confident to speak her truth without fear of rejection or reprisal.

And then she did it. She took the action, even though in her words ‘she shook for 10 minutes’ after telling her parents what she needed to make the visit a success and ok for her.

She had never spoken to her parents like this… ever.

She had never stood up for herself in this way, or believed that she had a right to do so. She told me after they left that it had made the world of difference. She put herself first, and even her husband noticed a dramatic difference in how she had been so much more empowered.

When I asked her what would have happened if we had not met, and she had NOT been taught the self-help tools she had learnt to look after herself during her parents’ visit, her response blew me away, and reminded me of the name Amma has given me to live up to:

“If I hadn’t known what I have learnt with you, I would have considered ending my life before they arrived. Instead I am powerful and I now know I am not wrong to feel my emotions, or feel frustrated with others. I just was never taught to speak my truth or communicate my feelings, but now I can”.

I was blown away, because she was absolutely serious about how bad she felt before learning these life changing tools, and what she might have done had she not learnt them.

In just 2 months this is the transformation she has already created for herself as a result of having new tools to manage her everyday life, and to value and love herself enough to believe she has the right to make herself her number one priority in her life.

This is what I LOVE about the work I do: I don’t do anything FOR clients – I teach them how to do it for themselves, and as a result their body self-heals on every level: emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. To me this is true healthcare, and is the future of healthcare – showing people how to transform their health and life without external intervention such as medication. This is what excites me!

As the saying goes ‘give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime’.

So thank you Amma for being my guiding light. Thank you for giving me the strength to keep going myself when things are tough, so that I have the strength to share these amazing life-changing skills with others.