What if symptoms were actually part of the solution?

Could symptoms be part of the solution?

by Megan Otto

‘From the moment we are born the body has an intelligence system designed to look after us’

‘Hey you up there!  See that rash, growth, sneeze? It’s a message from your body. Are you listening?!’ Kim Knight, health and personal development coach explains symptoms are intelligent communication from the body to the head. “We are brought up in our society to think the head is king but actually the gut activates before the brain.”

Kim has tried over 150 different therapies and trained in Mickel Therapy, Energy Psychology, Qi Gong, Taoist Meditation and Emotional Intelligence to a professional level. She believes from the moment we are born the body has an intelligence system designed to look after us. It will scan 24 hours a day for information about happiness, healthiness and safety.  Being happy and healthy is the norm although that is oft forgotten. “Look at what happens when people come back from wars with post traumatic stress disorder. They can’t function,” says Kim.

“This body intelligence system knows what is going on in a person’s life and forms opinions about it. Then it sends communication asking us to do something. It will begin with Plan A – body sensations,” explains Kim. “These are simple and subtle. There are two body sensations which we are well trained in and we do notice. One is hunger. It is not a pain but is definitely a sensation telling us to eat something. The other is needing the toilet. We know what that feels like. We take appropriate action and the sensation stops.”

“I am putting power back in people’s hands. Given the right advice the body can be a self healing mechanism.”

However if Plan A is unsuccessful the directive is stepped up to Plan B – emotions. Negative emotions like, “I’m feeling frustrated/worried/afraid/anxious/sad/angry” are actually a healthy form of communication from the body to the head. Unfortunately this is the level we unconsciously train ourselves to ignore.  Then because the body is programmed to do its job come hell or high water it says, “Well okay you didn’t hear me so I am going to send you something louder which will get your attention. Plan C – symptoms.”

Symptoms like insomnia, food intolerances, eczema, asthma or skin irritations are often seen as minor but Kim believes they are a body’s cry for attention. Nonetheless initially the symptoms are often at a level where they are not inhibiting a person’s life so they can be masked with medication. “We haven’t yet asked ourselves, “Ok my body isn’t very happy about something.  What is going on here?” But over time the body can only function with so many symptoms before the state of dis-ease turns into disease.” And what most people do not realize is that the flight or fight response induces the physiology of the body to change.  Heart rate, breathing and nervous system ramp up, steroid hormone cortisol and adrenalin are released, digestion stops – the whole body is affected. This is when people start to get chronic conditions. “There have been many things happening before people get really sick,” observes Kim. “However our healthcare system is generally only really designed to deal with people once they get to that point.”

“Over time the body can only function with so many symptoms before the state of dis-ease turns into disease”.

An absence of awareness about our bodies is evidenced by hospitals with waiting lists.  This lack of responsibility for ourselves is what led to Kim’s health coaching practice. “I am putting power back in people’s hands. Given the right advice the body can be a self healing mechanism.”

One of the most common complaints is stress. Kim point outs that most people think this is caused by something external but she says it is always an internal reaction to a real or internalised event. Either way she trains clients to analyse underlying issues.

“What I have found is that people with chronic health conditions have not been looking after themselves or attending to their emotional needs”

Childhood emotions not being validated are a reoccurring pattern. Clients might have been told “Don’t be silly, don’t cry!” Consequently they stopped allowing themselves to feel.  Their modes operandi became fear because being authentic risks judgment or criticism. “To the emotional body that is the equivalent of dying,” says Kim.  Honesty is one of the prerequisites for health.

Another principle is no division between the physical, mental and spiritual layers of a person. She recalls the frustration of listening to a rheumatologist at a fibromyalgia seminar. He said, “We still don’t know what creates fibromyalia and we’re looking for a gene to isolate it.” And I’m like no, no, no we do know. Look at what happens in a person’s life and how it affects them!”

The U.K. Public Health Association published a major review by Sir Michael Marmot called “Fair Society, Healthy Lives” in 2010 and revisited it in 2011. Their research revealed “…health inequalities do not arise by chance and they cannot be attributed simply to genetic make up, ‘bad’ or unhealthy behaviour or difficulties in access to medical care as important as those factors may be…difference in health status is reflected and are caused by social and economic inequalities in society.”

The report goes on to say doing nothing to improve the wellbeing of the nation was not an option because the human cost would be enormous.

“…health inequalities do not arise by chance and they cannot be attributed simply to genetic make up” 

Kim bases her argument for better health on quantum physics, the science of energy. Go down to a million times magnification of a cell (by that stage it would be at a sub ‘quantum’ atomic level) and bizarrely enough all you would see is mainly space. “So when an emotion arises in the body and it is not resolved or discharged then it stays in the body. It is a vibration that gets trapped in the cell and over time it is repeated and augmented.  You can imagine how that has an effect at a cellular level. The energy starts to distort the vibration of the cell which manifest as a dysfunction. It is the law of physics – cause and effect.”

Even language illustrates the interconnectedness of energy with the body. According to the Chinese healing art of Qi Gong anger is stored in the liver – hence the saying, “I was livid with anger.” Just as common, “My heart sunk”, “My heart was filled with joy” or “I was sick with worry” (stored in the stomach and spleen).

‘It is never too late. Kim says people can turn themselves around’.

“What I have found is that people with chronic health conditions have not been looking after themselves or attending to their emotional needs,” maintains Kim. “They might have been unable to articulate their feelings or had others walk all over them. So they have a whole stack of trapped emotions inside their body. Which are now manifesting as symptoms.”

It is never too late. Kim says people can turn themselves around. “I had a girl on the phone absolutely exhausted with chronic fatigue syndrome. Her doctor had told her there is nothing we can do for you.  Unfortunately while modern medicine is fantastic in some areas some doctors only understand how to eradicate symptoms through medication or surgery. They know how to cut out a piece of cancer but not what the caused it. Obviously surgery is really good if someone has had a stroke, heart attack, something acute. But in this case it was chronic fatigue. I put together a jig-saw puzzle of the girl’s history and discovered she’d suffered traumas that she’d never told anyone about.”

Kim’s empathy comes from a break down she herself suffered 25 years ago. During the course of recovery she read a book which put forward the idea that all of reality is available to us at any given time. But we can only deal with so much at a certain time. And each person’s ‘reality cup’ will be different sized. Sometimes it gets over-full.

Kim knows there are some doctors who will take into account a whole person. For example The Australian Integrated Medical Association’s philosophy is medical care through integrating proven complementary medicine into mainstream practice. Kim is resolute, “I think we are in the middle or at least at the start of change.”

Kim Knight is a health and personal development coach based in Auckland, New Zealand, and working worldwide by phone with clients.

www.artofhealth.co.nz

Megan Otto is a freelance writer also based in New Zealand. www.megan-otto.suite101.com

END

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Are doctors in the dark ages?

On whether we need a fresh perspective to understand… and resolve….chronic pain and illness

So the question is: Are doctors in the dark ages? Well, no…. and yes.

I have a huge admiration for what modern medical science can do when it comes to, for example, extra-ordinary surgical techniques. Just this week a man left hospital with the world’s first artificial heart. And the stories of what can be done with brain surgery and prosthetic limbs are astounding. And too many other things to mention here, most of which I don’t even know about. However, this is not what this article is about.

My focus for the last twenty years has been on how to recover from illness without medication or supplements, and in particular long-term chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, irritable bowel, arthritis, lupus etc. The common factor in these illnesses according to the medical community is that they have yet to discover the cause. According to a medical presentation I recently attended, scientists are still looking to isolate a gene for fibromyalgia. In other words, they are still trying to pin the cause of the condition on some initial physical fault in the body. I felt like screaming with frustration as I sat in the audience and watched the doctor delivering his presentation, telling people that they are still working on looking for solutions but it may take another 25 years before they find any. Aaagh. The answers are already here! So why is it they are not obvious for everyone to see?

Because it comes down to awareness and our level of consciousness. (And by the way, this is where I have a lot to learn about being patient. It’s very easy for me to see things in a very different light now, but I have to remind myself it did take me 20 years of searching to get here. And I also know that I do not know everything by a long shot). However, I do know this:

UNRESOLVED EMOTIONS STORED AS TOXIC ENERGY IN THE BODY CREATE PHYSICAL PAIN. This I know for sure.

Every week I have people call me with chronic conditions they have been diagnosed with, labelled with fancy medical names like idiopathic hypersomnia, Bahma Forest virus and Raynauds disease. By the time people make their way to me they have already investigated a number of therapies, been to medical specialists and had all sorts of tests or surgeries such as MRI scans, blood tests, colonoscopies and biopsies. And even after all the tests, the doctors still cannot give them an answer for their condition.

So, why is it they cannot find a cause when searching in the physical body?

BECAUSE THE PHYSICAL BODY IS NOT ALWAYS WHERE THE PAIN IS ORIGINATING FROM!

Here’s an example of what I mean:

I remember one of my first clients, a 74 year old lady, who came to me for excruciating abdominal pain. She had been in hospital for three months, had every conceivable test under the sun, was on extreme pain medication which had no effect whatsoever. At the time I was practising Chi Nei Tsang (CNT) abdominal massage, which is why she had come to me, thinking that abdominal massage would help. However, CNT is much more that working at the physical level: it works to process undigested emotions which lie trapped in the digestive tract, in her case the colon. To cut a long story short, during the session she made contact with the emotional pain she had felt when her mother died, emotion which had never been felt or expressed. And as she gave herself permission to process this undigested energy and information, which was being held in the body at a cellular level, the pain disappeared. Instantly. Just like that.

So why is this? Because as a human being we are an amalgamation of mind, body, emotions and spirit. And whatever happens on one level WILL simultaneously affect all other levels. To take this a step deeper, we’re talking about quantum physics, or the newly emerging science (as mentioned by Deepak Chopra last week at his presentation in Auckland) quantum biology.

Quantum physics states that at a quantum (sub-atomic – smaller than an atom) level the body is actually just energy. To get an idea of how small a quantum is, put a cell under a microscope and magnify it a million times. We’re talking real small.

In Qi Gong we call this ‘Qi’ – the most fundamental level of life. And since physics states that matter cannot be destroyed, any energy, including emotional energy, not transformed at the time it arises in the body WILL get stored in the cells until we can deal with it. It’s as simple as that. Emotions (e-emotion – energy in motion – or not as the case may be) will be stored in the body if they are not resolved, dissolved, managed, transformed etc. And over time, this will build up to manifest as physical symptoms.

So here’s another new perspective, which most of the medical community still have not grasped:

SYMPTOMS ARE INTELLIGENT AND NECESSARY COMMUNICATION FROM THE BODY

That is actually a quote from a medical doctor, one of the few doctors who currently understands this philosophy, Dr David Mickel. Dr Mickel is the founder of the revolutionary ‘Mickel Therapy’ techniques for identifying and resolving the causes of chronic illness such as chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, which happens to be one of the core techniques I use.

Symptoms are your friend, your ally. They are here to help. They are a guidepost to tell you something is amiss and needs addressing in your life…. at a psycho-emotional level. The question is, are you going to take note, or are you going to continue to ignore and suppress the early warning (or emergency) distress signals (pain and symptoms) with medication? The choice is yours!

So, it’s time to wake up and see things from a new perspective. Symptoms have a purpose – they are here to tell you that your whole being is in a state of ‘dis-ease’ and that something needs to be done. Action is required. And more often than not it may be one of two things:

  1. Dealing with unresolved, unexpressed, unfelt emotional hurts from the past which are stored in the body as pain, sadness, anger, frustration, resentment etc
  2. Creating new habits of looking after yourself better by leading a more balanced lifestyle – ie, not driving yourself like a machine, and instead treating yourself like your own best friend.

And here’s the final thought for today:

YOUR BODY IS A SELF-HEALING MECHANISM AND HEALTH IS YOUR NATURAL STATE.
ILLNESS IS THEREFORE THE ABSENCE OF YOUR NATURAL STATE OF GOOD HEALTH.

So what does that mean? It means that we are designed to be healthy, this is our natural state, and anything else means we have gone off track. Unfortunately in our society sickness is no longer seen as strange or uncommon, it’s become the norm.

My hope is that one day (soon) we will have a much better understanding of ourselves and how we operate, and what we need to do to avoid illness and pain. Because I truly believe it is possible.

Obviously the medical model will have to change because in order to do this we are going to HAVE to pay attention to the whole person that is ill, rather than focusing on the condition and symptoms. The symptoms are just the end result. Which is why one of my teachers always says “We have to treat the person, not the symptoms”. And a 15 minute appointment with your doctor just doesn’t cut the mustard if you want to solve the riddle of a long-term illness!

So, next time your body sends you a symptom, whether it’s a headache, rash, belly ache or whatever, stop and ask yourself “What could my symptoms be trying to tell me? What message do they have for me. What am I really feeling? What emotion is my body sending me that I have missed”? This is the place to start. You may well need help from someone else to find the answers, but at least starting with the right question is more likely to lead to a real solution.

Be well!

Kim Knight

www.artofhealth.co.nz

THERAPIST HELPS PEOPLE RECOVER BY PHONE FROM CHRONIC PAIN AND ILLNESS WHICH BAFFLE DOCTORS

Emotional intelligence coach Kim Knight, Director of the Art of Health, has been helping people to recover from chronic pain and illnesses which still baffle many doctors, such as chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, irritable bowel and depression…by phone. In an era where surgery, medication and supplements are seen as the common solution, how is this possible?

“It’s all a matter of understanding the real nature of illness” says Kim. “Illness is not a mistake and mental or physical symptoms are most often the end result of many years of unidentified and unexpressed emotional pain. By identifying and addressing the underlying cause, the symptoms disappear, because they are merely a messenger sent to get our attention”.

She is able to say this having recovered herself, without medication or supplements, from several house-bound years of chronic fatigue, adrenal exhaustion, clinical depression, back problems and more.

Trained in Mickel Therapy, a ground-breaking technique created by UK medical doctor, Dr David Mickel, Kim is able to assist clients to finally recognize and understand the cause of their symptoms. She then teaches them how to coach themselves back to health using a number of exercises which, as she puts it, “train one in ‘life-affirming rather than life-depleting behaviours’”. These include things such as learning how to identify feelings and communicate them safely, how to ‘clear the decks’ of unfinished business, how to put oneself first and how to live a balanced lifestyle.

One of the main tenets of Mickel Therapy is that emotions are ‘energy in motion’ and blocked emotional energy trapped in the cells re-wire them into illness. In Dr Mickel’s words “Emotions have been commonly misunderstood and misinterpreted for many years, starting with the incorrect assumption that they are created by thought.  Primary or core e-motions arise spontaneously without any thought, as waves of energy that flow directly into our physical cells and immediately alter their physiological function”.   Anyone familiar with quantum physics will understand that all matter, at a quantum (sub-atomic) level, is just energy, and this includes our mental, emotional and physical bodies which are all interlinked.

“A simple way of putting it would be a state of dis-ease will create disease”.

As the client learns to identify, manage and resolve their emotional life, currently emerging as the trend of ‘emotional intelligence training’, the body restores itself to its natural state of good health. Whilst a handful of people have recovered within 2 weeks, the average number of sessions needed is 6-8, by which time they have either returned to full health or made significant improvement. With continuing practice of the exercises their return to good health is not far away.

Based in Auckland and Queenstown, Kim works by phone with clients worldwide, including New York, Fiji and Australia. Distance is no object to the effectiveness of this treatment, and her clients range from ages 16 to 74.

For more information see Kim’s websites below or contact her on +64 9 833 6553 / +64 (0)21 410 633.  See below for a sample of client testimonials…

From wheel chair to jogging

The following client was experiencing fatigue, brain fog, headaches and muscle weakness before treatment. This is what she reported back after working with the Mickel Therapy techniques for 8 weeks:

Activities I could not do before treatment: Most activities.  I was almost housebound.  I was not working, and I spent most of the day on the couch watching TV or doing computer work.  When I went out and knew I would have to walk more than 0.5 miles, I would use a wheelchair.  I was not socializing outside my immediate family.

Activities I can do now: Almost all of my normal activities.  After 8 weeks, I am back at work full-time, I am playing with my son and going out on the weekends (just like I used to!).  I don’t feel like there is any limit to the distance that I can walk, and I have even started jogging again.  I am now going out with friends again.  I went to a party last night for 4 hours and felt great!  I am confident that in a few more weeks, I will be completely back to my regular routine.  I know that I could not have come so far so quickly without Mickel Therapy.   Julia, age 34 yrs, New York (USA)

I have my life back – I feel amazing!

The following comments are from a client who completed a 6 week program of treatment:

“Mickel Therapy has helped me understand my symptoms and given me the tools to listen to what my body really wants and to act on it. My problems (chronic fatigue) I came with have now gone. I can now live a normal life and do everything I want to do. I feel amazing! The tools I have learnt are lifelong tools and I’m committed to making them a part of my everyday life.

What I liked most about Mickel Therapy was how it all made such sense; that it wasn’t rocket science and that it really proved that how badly our society has become in ignoring what their body needs. Most of all I feel truly blessed that I stumbled across it as it has given the tools to live a healthy life”.   Karen, 28yrs, Auckland

Well in 8 weeks

The following client was experiencing the following symptoms before treatment:

  • Depleted adrenals, insufficient hormones, malnutrition and thyroid problems, as clinically diagnosed by her doctor
  • Itchy ears, constant fatigue, anxiety attacks, hair falling out in handfuls, Poor concentration, poor memory
  • Nausea, headaches, skin acne, cold sores, styes, broken sleep, nails brittle and weak and huge mood swings

After 8 weeks all above symptoms showed significant improvement, some cleared completely, and this is what she had to say:

“I am a Natural Health Practitioner and suffered from Glandular Fever in my teens and then again at 20 yrs old. Since then, I have suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome whenever my body felt like I was doing too much.

After my studies I knew my emotions had a lot to do with my condition constantly arising. During my last pregnancy and for the 1st year of my baby’s life I went into the worst stage.

My Natural therapies and Counselling were helping me to not end up completely bed ridden but I was not getting better. To sum it up I was at Stage A – knew my condition, knew what was causing it but still couldn’t get to Stage C – perfect health! Mickel Therapy was my Stage B – they know my condition, they know what is causing it and they give you a step by step way to re-LIVE your life in perfect health.

It is now 8 weeks on and I am living without my illness on a daily basis and THANKS to Mickel Therapy I now have the tools to keep it that way. I believe in this Therapy so much that I am looking into becoming a practitioner”.  Susan B

To find out more go to www.artofhealth.co.nz

Letting go of wanting to be well to get well

What if getting well required you to give up wanting to get well?

By Kim Knight www.artofhealth.co.nz

In my experience, one of the biggest blocks to getting well is trying to get better without learning the lesson the illness or health condition is trying to teach us. Symptoms are not random events, the body has not made a mistake in ANY of the symptoms it is sending. They all have a meaning, the question is, do you know how to interpret them?

So, If it’s true that:

  • Symptoms are intelligent and useful communication from the body intelligence
  • Symptoms contain a message from the body intelligence, and that message is requesting action
  • A symptom is always preceded by an emotion

If you really want your body to stop sending you symptoms, instead of asking “When will I get well? ” or “Why aren’t I well yet?” you might like to ask yourself:

  • What am I really feeling right now? What is the emotion masquerading behind the symptom?
  • What unresolved ‘stuff’ do I have going on in my life? Who do I need to complete an issue with?
  • What do I still need to learn about myself? What is this health condition trying to teach me?
  • What lessons do I have to learn in life?
  • What are these symptoms trying to teach me?
  • What life-depleting habits do I need to change into more positive behaviours which serve me better in my life?
  • How can I look after myself better?
  • How can I demonstrate more self-love?
  • How can I release attachment to wanting to be better and focus on the lesson instead?

Give it a go, what have you got to lose?

Kim Knight

Health Coach and Healing Facilitator

Sessions by phone from anywhere in the world – distance is no object to healing

www.artofhealth.co.nz

Ph + 64 9 833 6553

On how unmet emotional needs drive physical pain

UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF FEAR IN THE PHYSICAL BODY

by Kim Knight, The Art of Health

For years I have been trying to understand why it is that certain Qi Gong exercises (specifically ones that require the pelvis to be tilted forward) have been so difficult to do and why I have had so much resistance to doing them. Whilst I was aware that my habit of ‘doing’ a sway back (ie, butt tucked out like a duck) was connected to disconnecting from feelings, I had (have) been finding it difficult to make progress on changing this postural pattern.

In Moativational Medicine™, cutting-edge health techniques I am currently studying and using, we talk about the core fears that lie deep within us, which exist as a result of unmet childhood emotional and developmental needs. These fears are centred around fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of vulnerability and fear of feeling our feelings fully. Lying beneath those fears are actually the core fear of not feeling loved. At the end of the day, we survive on love, love is what nourishes us, and when our supply of love is threatened as a child, we literally equate that with dying. Therefore it is critical that our developmental needs of feeling loved, nurtured, accepted, important, connected with etc are met during the first 18 months of our life. Of course, for many of us, often through no fault of our caregivers who were doing their best with what they knew, these needs are not met. And so we start to build up a backlog of unmet emotional needs, which later translate into certain beliefs, behaviours and corresponding results in our life – including symptoms of pain and chronic illness.

Recently, during a Chi Nei Tsang (abdominal Qi Gong) massage – (CNT by the way being the best bodywork therapy I have ever experienced, cannot recommend it enough for clearing emotional and physical pain without having to go via the head), I realized that my psoas muscles were completely contracted, resulting in my pelvis being pulled backwards. The interesting thing about the Psoas group is that the core emotion it holds is FEAR (see Liz Koch’s work for more details on this).

And suddenly I put two and two together. These core fears have been locked into my psoas for years, causing the pelvic tilt and therefore difficulty in doing these Qi Gong exercises. I had been trying to work out why I have so much resistance to doing these exercises when I know they are so good for me, and yet I don’t seem to be able to ‘force’ myself using will-power to do them. So actually, the resistance is not really about resistance to doing the exercises per se – it is actually the resistance to getting in touch with the EMOTIONS or FEAR held in that area of the body.

I now see how essential it is that we (including myself) address and resolve these unmet developmental and emotional needs, with their knock-on effect of building up so much fear in the mind-body. For me personally, as I do this, it will help improve my posture and ability to do certain Qi Gong exercises.  Already I feel a greater ease and less resistance to tilting my pelvis forward, which is a good start.

There is no doubt that the body truly does speak the mind, they are one unit, and in order to make true lasting change we MUST address our unmet emotional (and developmental) needs. And of the course the great thing about Moativational Medicine™ or Chi Nei Tsang is that we can do that without having to get emotional or even know what the issue was in the first place! And as any unresolved emotions are dissolved, our beliefs about ourselves and life magically change, which then results in us being more of our authentic self, which can only mean we experience greater joy, happiness and health in our lives.

So, my advice to you? If you truly want to get to the core of your health issues, or understand the role emotions play in disease (dis-ease), try some of these techniques for yourself.  You can either start using the Health Detective kit for yourself, or contact me if you would like some support in taking yourself through the exercises.

Kim Knight

Health Coach and Healing Facilitator

www.artofhealth.co.nz

Ph + 64 9 833 6553

The symptoms behind the emotions behind the symptoms

Understanding the deeper layers of dis-ease and consciousness.

As most of you who have experienced Mickel Therapy will know, most often we find that the underlying cause of dis-ease are unrecognized and unresolved emotions. This is because everything in the universe is energy, which includes our physical, mental and emotional being. Blocked energy (or Qi in Taoism) will compromise the physiological functioning of the body and manifest as symptoms of pain.

However, as with many things in life, there are multiple layers to be understood.

Understanding the deeper levels of triggered emotions

On the surface, we can have a situation which triggers an emotion. For example, someone says something to you which makes you feel a certain way, eg, your boyfriend says you look fat in your jeans and you feel upset. And using the Mickel Therapy protocol, you would use the 5 step process to dispel the emotions in a constructive way, which will also dispel any symptoms if they had also built up.

Now, the interesting thing is, we tend to think the current situation is the issue. And upon introspecting a little further, we usually find it is not. The current situation is just the trigger for an emotional pattern which is already sitting in the body, waiting to be resolved and understood. And the emotion will often be a recurring emotion that we feel during a recurring situation that is similar to something we experienced ongoingly as a child, which we were not able to deal with at the time. Often we describe this as ‘having our buttons pushed’.

So, to take the healing process to a deeper level, it’s first important to recognize that there are deeper issues at play. This is what I like to call looking at the ‘surface’ level situation (boyfriend tells you you look fat) versus the ‘deeper’, underlying issue (old scenario).

So, when you notice a recurring theme in your emotional triggers, you might like to ask yourself “where have I felt this before?…with whom?…when?…how old was I?”…and see if you can discover or uncover the deeper, hidden story that is repetitively playing out in the present. Understanding this will allow you to experience the gift of the current situation that is pointing you towards the resolution which lies at a deeper level.

Understanding the symptoms behind the emotions

As you know, in Mickel Therapy we say that missed emotions lie hidden beneath symptoms. And by identifying those hidden emotions, and taking corrective and appropriate action, we can dispel the symptoms.

But what if the emotions themselves are also a symptom of a deeper issue? What if emotions were actually a symptom too?

For example, you come home and you’re really hungry, and you notice that your flatmate has some delicious dessert in the fridge. So you have some, but feel a bit uncomfortable because he wasn’t around to ask first. You eat the dessert, but then you start to worry about what he’ll say when he comes back. So the body has started to send emotions. Depending on how aware you are of this, the emotion may or may not build up to become symptoms (eg, a headache or muscle ache).

Let’s say it stays at the emotional level, but the worry continues. We know in Mickel Therapy that we need to communicate our feelings honestly to that person when they come home, and most likely the emotion (worry) will dissipate.

However, if we look a little deeper at WHY we are worried, we have the opportunity to start uncovering and identifying the symptom beneath the emotion. Ie, we have the opportunity to start seeing the pattern which we are repeating in our consciousness which is leading to the emotion.

So, you might like to ask yourself, “Why am I so worried?”. And the answer might be something like “because I’m afraid he will judge me or be angry with me for eating his cake”.

And then you ask yourself “WHY am I so afraid of what he will say or think of me? Where does that habit of thinking come from?” And usually you will discover this is an old pattern from the past, which was set up in childhood, usually because back then we were judged or criticised for doing something or other, usually for something quite innocuous which did not really merit the criticism.

And then if we ask ourselves, ‘how did it make me feel back then when I was judged or criticized?”, that’s when we discover the real feeling behind the original emotion, which we are still trying to avoid today, because back then we felt so BAD when we experienced the criticism or judgement. And notice how I say ‘the emotion we are trying to avoid’ – unconsciously we are walking around manufacturing emotions and thoughts in an effort to avoid feeling the original feeling that made us feel unloved, abandoned, unworthy, ashamed etc. So these emotions are actually defence mechanisms to help us avoid feeling bad, because, as one of my teachers once said “when we feel bad it is directly translated by our emotional body as being bad. For our emotional selves, being bad translates into not being able to enjoy life. Not being able to enjoy life translates into not deserving to live”.*

Getting back to our natural state of joy

Remember, emotions are irrational and thoughts are rational, and together unhealthy thoughts and emotions keep us from feeling good and enjoying life. This is why it is critical that we really come to understand ourselves from the inside out, to understand our consciousness, thought processes and beliefs. We need to understand the patterns that are driving our habitual negative thinking and keeping negative emotions in our consciousness. We need to set ourselves free, because our natural state is a pure state of joy, we have just forgotten it.

And that is how we can see that “What is natural has become unnatural, and what is natural has become natural”. Our natural state is joy, but if we are continually perpetuating negative thinking patterns via a state of unconsciousness, we train ourselves to feel unhappy, and we come to think that is the norm.

So, if you’re really serious about healing deeply, next time you notice yourself feeling bad, dig a little deeper into your consciousness and discover what’s going on. This is how we can free ourselves from the past and move into a brighter, happier future.

Blessings on your journey!

Kim Knight, The Art of Health

* Teacher quoted above: Gilles Marin from ‘Healing from within with Chi Nei Tsang’

Gossip and Toxic Friends Detox!

Inner Mean Girl Reform School 40 day cleanse
Stop feeding your inner critic and nourish your inner wisdom!

Inner Mean Girl Cleanse

Is it time to get rid of your gossip girl?! We think so!

Blog 2 of the ’40 day Inner Mean Girl Cleanse’! by Kim Knight, The Art of Health www.artofhealth.co.nz

So, the second call this week was with gender expert Susan Shapiro, author of ten books including ‘Toxic Friends’ and ‘Tripping the prom queen’.

“A gossiping relationship is a dysfunctional relationship” Susan Shapiro

Apparently, (and it makes sense if you think about it), the origins of gossip were not negative – it was about getting information out, passing the message on, getting the word around.

These days gossip tends to be a negative habit, which if we look deeper we find has a lot to do with not feeling good about ourselves, and trying to bring others down in our attempt to make ourselves feel better. This often has the effect of tearing friendships apart.

So, if you think you might have a habit of gossip, whether it be just a little or lots, here are some useful tips for starting ‘good talk’.

Why do we gossip?

The first question to address is ‘why do we gossip or stay in relationships where so-called ‘friends’ gossip about us’? Well, many reasons, and it often boils down to:

  • issues of low self-esteem
  • the need to seek approval from others
  • fear of not being part of the crowd

In other words, we’ll do anything to be liked or not disliked out of our fear of rejection.

Often the habit of gossip is taught to us as we grow up by our mothers, aunts and elders and as we grow we just take it on as another habit.

Different levels of rivalry

What is the relationship between gossip, competition, envy and jealousy?

  • Competition: “I’ll fight you for what you have”
  • Envy: “I want what you have”
  • Jealousy: “I want what you have and I’ll kill you for it!”

Sound like nice behaviour? Not really! Want to change? Read on…

Susan Shapiro’s tips on how to prevent gossip:

“You have to share values to share friendship” – Susan Shapiro

  • Building mutual respect brings trust. We feel safe if we are not afraid people will gossip about us. So make a decision to build mutually respectful relationships.
  • Build friendships with people with mutual values.
  • Before you open your mouth to gossip, ask yourself “do I really want to hurt someone else?” or “how can this gossip be positive?”. Gossiping hurts ourselves and others, so do yourself and everyone else a favour by not gossiping.
  • Don’t be swayed by others in group – stick to what feels right for you.
  • Make a conscious decision not to gossip – it’s easy as that, although sometimes not so easy to change the habit.
  • Turn it around and say something supportive instead of derisive about that person

“If we stay in unhealthy relationships we keep ourselves from healthy relationships” Susan Shapiro

How do you know it’s time to let go of a toxic ‘friendships’?

  • When someone does something really hurtful – then you really know that person is not a friend at all
  • When you no longer share common values
  • When you notice you are avoiding friends and don’t feel courageous enough to be honest and say so
  • When friendships make your life worse rather than better
  • When toxic behaviour starts making you sick!

Helpful exercises for assessing and ending toxic friendships:

Exercise 1

Listen to your inner self and ask:

  • ‘Is this friendship healthy for me’?
  • ‘What do I get from it’?
  • ‘What does she get from it’?
  • ‘Why are we friends’?

See what answers you come up with. And then make your decision from your wise, inner being. Trust your heart!  Listen to your Inner Wisdom vs your Inner Mean Girl.

Exercise 2

Take a friendship inventory – ask yourself:

  • Which friends are helping me become the person I want to be?
  • Which friends inspire me?
  • Which friends are toxic?
  • What do I need and want from a friendship?
  • What are my expectations from a friendship?

“If we want to be happy and healthy, we need non-toxic friends”.

Exercise 3

Gossip inventory

  • Where do you gossip in your life?
  • How was it modelled to you?

The connection between the heart and tongue.

Tip from Kim:

In the Universal Healing Tao practices, we have a meditation exercise called the ‘Inner Smile’. In Taoist theory the heart is intimately connected with the tongue. In fact, the tongue is known as the ‘child’ of the parent ‘heart’ organ. And whenever we go to speak anything negative about someone else, we get a sensation in our heart just before we speak the words. This is the heart telling us “NO! I don’t enjoy speaking ill of others”.

The heart is about love and compassion. When  we feel love and compassion for others, WE also feel good.

So, next time you are about to say something detrimental about someone else, NOTICE how it feels in your heart, and if it doesn’t feel good, STOP!  And say something else.

For more information on these Taoist practices see www.taohealth.co.nz

And finally…

Susan Shapiro’s Inner Mean Girl Dare for the week:

“If you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”

Be true to yourself in friendships!

For more info on Susan Shapiro see: www.susanshapirobaras.com

For more info on the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse see: www.daretoliveyou.com

For more info on Kim Knight see www.artofhealth.co.nz