Getting to know – and manage – your inner critics
“A critic left to its own will dismantle any good that you have created” Sark
This blog is the first set of tips that come from the call with SARK on how to manage your inner critic(s).
GET TO KNOW YOUR INNER CRITICS!
Do you know all the different inner critics that you have? For example:
‘The Pusher’ – who can never do enough
‘The Perfectionist’ – who is never good enough
‘The Comparer’ – who always thinks others are better than me
‘The Unlovable’ – who always imagines they are not lovable or acceptable by others
‘The Guilt Inducer ’ – who feels guilty for doing anything for herself
According to Sark, our Inner Mean Girls (hereafter referred to as IMGs) are a result of early conditioning to life which grows out of proportion. The energies are unconscious and have not been attended to.
However, it’s important to remember we have an Inner mean girl and an inner kind girl – we have both. And the BEST antidote to IMG is self love. That inner wisdom, that part of our self that is all loving and unconditional, no matter the circumstances.
Inner critics just want to work. So we have to redirect them, give them a new job. Turn the inner critic into an ally and get a team of inner helpers instead. So, how do we get more connected to inner wisdom?
Here are Sark’s tips for dealing with these inner mean girls:
Practice the THREE ‘A’S:
“You can’t change what you are not aware of” Dr Phil
‘Awareness’ – notice when one or more of your inner critics is at work. Awareness is 80% of the solution. If you are not aware, you cannot change anything.
‘Attention’ – Give your whole attention to your inner mean girl. That’s what she really wants – ATTENTION! She’s been craving it for years. Invite that part to speak on paper or have some sort of a conversation.
‘Allowing’ – Allow your inner wise self, your nourishing adult, to participate, respond, lead the way and offer a different perspective. We need to claim our power back from this inner critic. We give our power away when we allow the inner mean girl to run our mind. Reassure yourself you are more than your parts. Stop your inner mean girl making decisions – let your inner wisdom make our decisions.
Awareness + Attention + Allowing = Profound transformation
‘IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME’
A major key in health is being honest and authentic. It has immense healing power.
So get together with some friends and fill in the following question:
“If you really knew me, you’d know I’m really hard on myself about …………………..”
“If you really knew me, you’d know I’m really hard on myself about my weight – a man will never accept me with my body not being ‘perfect’”.
So, here is your ‘self-love dare’ for the next week:
- Practice the 3 A’s
- Practice the ‘If you really knew me’ exercise with others
See what happens when you make a conscious decision to be kind to yourself!
For more info on Sark: http://www.planetsark.com/
Kim Knight, director of the Art of Health, specializes in teaching people the art of looking after their own health. This includes learning life-affirming behaviours and dropping life-depleting patterns. Some of Kim’s tools include coaching people:
- how to put yourself first without feeling guilty
- how to be authentic and communicate your needs and feelings safely
- how to increase self-esteem, self-love and self-value
- how to work out what YOUR body-mind needs to stay healthy and happy
You can find more info at http://www.artofhealth.co.nz